A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:So here is the situation any answer is helpful I'm just lost in the world. The same day I lost my job for next year, He broke up with me, he didn’t know it prior to driving an hour and a half for a talk. This talk was not really a talk more than how was your day and here's why I’m here. He said that He doesn’t feel the same as he did in the beginning and that was about it. There could have been a little bit more, but there really was no conversation just him going to his car to get my things and me trying to retrieve his. I'm in the middle of moving to a new apt near my no longer job.The night prior to our visit we had a little texting in which he wasn’t in a mood to share but really thinking and exhausted from work, I was having a rush of emotions from finishing my job and moving, along with feeling a little ignored due to our anniversary passing without a mention from him. We don’t celebrate them for the most part, just a smile would have been nice or acknowledgement of my message would have been wonderful.5 days prior to the break up we were together. We went out on the town, walked around, did a little shopping and he even bought me a pillow (I had forgotten mine). During this visit there was conversations of next time we will try this and so forth. So at that time, I really don’t know where this breakup was coming from.A similar situation has happened before just over a year ago we were facing graduation, looking at living in different states while going to graduate school. He broke up with me saying this isn’t working out anymore. After a week we went on a walk had a great conversation sharing how we should have during the relationship. I found out his reasons were more, you don’t deserve me, lots of "what if" questions. when we got down to it, we didn’t want to break up it was more a playing out many situations. A couple of weeks later we were back together.Here is my general question: Should I be trying to work though and fight for this relationship? I desperately want to or am I so dense I don’t realize he is running away from me?
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female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (8 July 2010):
 I don't think you are as clueless as you sound. You can't deny what had gone wrong in the relationship. I know it's hard to accept the end of a relationship. It takes two to mess up in a relationship. Going back and forth is just like trying to postpone the inevitable. He is having a hard time letting you go, but it has to be done. Fear of the pain of breaking up is a dumb reason to stay in a relationship. You can train yourself to be more self reliant. You don't need his approval or this relationship to proove you are lovable. You know your strenghts and weaknesses. Find a better match. There are relationships that are so smooth that no break ups are ever mentioned. Strive for that kind of relationship.
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