A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend of 8 years has just broke up with me, its really hard because he still calls me asking for money and wants to sleep with me, he said we can still be with each other but not be in a relationship. I don't know what to do, as he was my only friend, I feel lost.
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male
reader, MikeEa1  +, writes (22 April 2012):
 although I'm a bloke I've been through the same. you have to move on with your life or you'll be stuck on the same merrygoround. he is using you and you are using him. get some friends. they don't have to be amazingly close but you will learn about others and find someone who is more compassionate. a man who doesn't want a relationship and wants sex and money? get real whats in it for you. fiends can be found eventually by joining clubs and going and doing activities.
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (22 April 2012):
 If this is your only friend,... you'd better hang out with enemies !
He breaks up than he calls asking for casual sex and MONEY ?This ain't no friend, this is an user.
Time for wiping the slate clean, and for a major attitude change from your side, and a major work up on your self esteem.
Dear OP, it's not true you don't have any friends, because you have at least one great friend : yourself. Treat yourself with the respect ,care and protectiveness you'd give to your best friend ever, and don't let , for what it is in your power, people hurt you or abuse you, same as you would not leave someone doing that to your dearest ,best friend.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2012): I know that it can be hard to leave him but i sugest that you should just stay positive and try to work things out in any posible way and if nothing work out then u must find some1 who deserve u and forget about him.trust me i've been there before.good luck!
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A
female
reader, oldbag +, writes (22 April 2012):
 Hi there
You must be feeling lost after 8 years together. But the best thing for YOU is to rip the plaster off. Stop all contact,stop meeting up do not lend money to him do not take his calls.Then you can start to get over him and eventually start a new life.
All the time you are in contact with him your looking back. He is your focus. You can make new friends,friends are people you have not met yet thats all.Set yourself goals,small ones at first,pamper yourself,do your hair,nails,buff up the body.Go for a walk or run,fresh air is good for you sunshine makes you happier.
Think of each day as the first day of your new life and new you. There IS more to life than one man and this man let you go,one day when your in your new life he will regret it.So, take the first step and stop all contact,come back on here and moan if you have to,but stay strong xx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2012): Honestly, He is using you.
Together for 8 years, then he breaks up with you?
Still asking for money and sex... Huni, he is doing nothing but getting what he wants.
I wouldn't put up with that. Infact you should iggy him as much as possible. It is hard after being so close with someone for so long and having no body else. Trust me, I had to start over plenty of times when my relationships ended.
BUT... It was worth it each step of the way. If you want, you can allow him to do this to you. OR you can tell him to get bent.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2012): Hey, I'm sorry I really feel for you, I think you are still in love with him. If you give him money and have sex with him, what you are saying is that he can have his cake and eat it. You are sending the signal that it is acceptable for him to treat you like this and use you without emotionally satisfying you in return. It always feels like we will never meet anyone else when we break up with someone, but believe me you will! Better to have no friends than a FAKE friend; this man is not your friend! You do need friends right now though so don't worry about going out trying to seek a new boyf- by all means grieve for the loss of relationship and lifestyle, but make new friends and start to live your life again for you! Do the things you love to do- if you don't know what they are then find out-try new stuff! treat yourself, get new hobbies and take up every opportunity to make some great new like minded friends- you'll be surprised how emotionally fulfilling it is having good friends. For so long you dedicated your whole life to him- now you get the opportunity to have your life back- enjoy being single and, for a while at least, make no contact with him. But please don't have sex with him and don't give him money! If you do this you will be so miserable- get out there and make your self happy- you owe him nothing now- the only person you need to tend to right now is yourself! Good luck :)
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