A
female
age
26-29,
*ewbie31
writes:So, I'm sixteen. I had a "thing" with this guy who just turned 18 yesterday. This past fall we started hanging out with a mutual friend and there was instant attraction for me. He took me on a few dates, kissed me first and we had this thing were I "paid a kiss toll" at red lights. This whole time I really liked him. Funny, smart, outgoing and confident. But he has comitment issues I guess so we just were a "thing". This would have been fine if I knew how he truly felt, but it wasn't ever communicated other than I really like you and spending time with you. I knew the thing was there but didn't know where it was going. So I finally asked him, sensing that I might be allowing myself to be led on. He said he was confused, he really likes me but he doesn't know how much yet. Everytime we kissed, mind you, he initiated. I wanted more of him. All of him. Then a few weeks passed and I couldn't take the confusion anymore. I was awkward around him because I didn't know how casual and comfortable I could be around him. So I asked him if he had his answer, like he said he would give me soon. I knew right when he said he wasn't sure that it prob was going to end, but I still had hope. I gave him space and didn't push him. But when I asked he said "he loves to be around me but we should be friends right now". I just recently started sort of hanging with him again because I'm not busy with school anymore and I still feel that for me there is something there. No one else knows that we had a thing, so seeing other girls flirt with him shamelessly drives me nuts because I don't get any recognition for being the girl who got his attention past meaningless flirting. I feel like what we had was unfinished, but thinking about it, it didn't have an official start. I want to dream and have him realize that I am real and that he does like me, but I don't think that will happen, but now I want to know, need to know, why he stopped liking me after all that. A few weeks ago he texted and apologized bc he realized he led me on. He said "I guess I just don't know how to like someone at the same time as getting to know them". But isn't that what dating is for? That's basically what we were doing even if it wasn't called anything special. I definitely need some advice. Should I ask him?
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female
reader, Newbie31 +, writes (12 March 2012):
Newbie31 is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thank you fishdish.
A
female
reader, fishdish +, writes (12 March 2012):
 I don't think he really liked you. I'm not saying he didn't enjoy your attention or the company, but you were just someone he could release some sexual tension with and that's about it. he gave you vague responses because he knew he could get you to back off without him having to give extra commitment. when you finally cornered him he squirmed away because the jig was up and you couldn't take being in limbo with someone YOU actually cared about. He was just there for the ride. move on and try to take it slower with someone next time so you don't fall in too deep too fast.
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A
female
reader, Newbie31 +, writes (12 March 2012):
Newbie31 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell. he flirts with other girls my age so I don't think that's the problem. I talked to him about why he stopped liking me and he said once he realized he "wasn't 100 percent sure about how he felt that he just shouldn't dive into anything with a C average". He said it was nothing about me or anything I did. So from that I take it since he was confused he thought it wasn't anything special, but oh boy if had given it time to really get to know me what would've happened? Well, I guess that settles everything. There's nothing there for me anymore. He just gave up at the sight of confusion. Any more thoughts now Honeypie? I think I should still be his friend, but it might torment me for a little bit.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (12 March 2012):
 If you are still interested then keep talking and keep hanging out but do NOT engage sexually til you feel you know where you stand. Otherwise you will end up wit ha guy who thinks you want FWB - which in turns can lead to all kind of drama you don't need at 16 ( or 66).
I don't think he stopped liking you, but he might be unsure, with you being (pardon me for saying) only 16. If he is worried what people might think and so forth he needs to be honest about it.
But all in all only way to know what HE thinks is to talk to him.
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