A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Dear CupidI have been dating the most amazing guy for 6 months. He is wonderful kind, and we are madly in love. However during my previous relasionships ex boyfriends were unfaithful to me on more than one occation. I've come to terms with the past, and if anyone is going to give me back my trust and confidence it is the man I'm now with. There is one small problem that I fear I am making into a bigger issue than necassary and am very scared of raising this with him as I don't want to rock the boat for no reason. Before he met me there was a very good girl friend of his (also single) who he used to hang out with all the time. As far as I know nothing happened between them, I'm not sure why this is (she was very uspset when he and I got together) and he didn't socialise her for a while. Now things have returned to normal we see her with mutual friends. But whenever we're all out together I really just get the feeling he really misses the closeness they had, he spends all night talking to her and cannot leave her side. I'm respectful of their friendship but when she is around I feel like there are three people in the relationship and it's making me insecure! I don't want to loose him. Please help!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 June 2008): You have a right to make an issue out of it if he begins to spend huge amounts of time talking to her and not you (the occasional good talk is fine, but once a week would be too much.)
Otherwise his friendship will be draining off energy from your relationship. Even if she's giving him good advice, he'll still be building a relationship with her that he could be building with you... when he feels bad, or confused, or wants to share good news, you want to be his go-to girl!
A
male
reader, jay12toes  +, writes (24 June 2008):
 i think you just need to relaxe. if he wanted to be with her then he would be with her but hes not, hes with you. there is often a big differance between frinds and girlfriends, now by this i dont mean to say that men arnt friends with there girlfriends, im just trying to say that sometimes we need to talk to someone who were not in a relationship with and when a person is chosen that you tell your secrets to you become very close to that person. and thats all i think this is. shes just a good friend that he can talk to about the stuff that he cant talk to you about.
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