A
female
 ,
*obbyjo
writes:Im 22 years old and 3 years ago I met a boy who I fell in love with instantly. I never believed in love at first sight before until I met him. At the time, I was in a long term relationship with a boy and stayed with him for another year, whilst still being in love with someone else. The boy didnt have any idea how I felt about him - I was scared that I had such strong feelings for someone I barely knew and thought he would probably be freaked out. In the end, I split with my boyfriend and me and this boy got together.I was so happy and blinded by love that I did everything for him, and let him do anything he wanted. So when he split with me 6 months later cos I wasnt 'his type' I was understandably shattered. That was a year ago now, and the blow was very, very hard for me to deal with at first but after some time I did eventually start to get over it. We didnt remain friends or anything so I didnt see him or hear from him and that helped.Only now, Ive found out that he has a new girlfriend and its torn me aprt. It not just any old girl - she was a friend of his who I did not like or trust when we were together. He put her in front of me all the time and wanted to spend all his time with her. But never in a million years did I think theyd ever end up together.Theyve been with each other a few weeks but Ive heard how theyre madly in love and I even found photos of them, at my mates house, where in every one hes kissing her and looks so happy. He was never like that with me. Theyve also talked about finding a house together. When I mentioned moving in with him he laughed and said no. To make things worse, his friends have started to tell me bits about our sex life which means hes been telling everyone really personal details which means that he cant respect me one bit.I just feel like such an idiot now. I loved him so, so much and everyone knew it but he just treated me like dirt. Everyone is so wrapped up and happy about them and ive just been brushed aside and forgotten about like my feelings dont care. But I spent so long loving him and caring about him and Im angry with myself that I cant let it go.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Country Woman +, writes (27 May 2006):
 The time has come for you to unfortunately put the record straight and explain how badly he treated you and depending on the sexual stories that are circulating about you, why not put out your own version, i.e. he wasn't that good in bed or something, at least that way you can get your own back a little bit.
No one should discuss sexual matters with previous partners but unfortunately some men do, not all mind. It does show a certain inmaturity and that is the real message you should get out to everyone.
He has saved you a lot of heartache with these actions as you really must concentrate on the nasty way he has discounted your feelings and you are right in the fact that he obviously never respected you at all and this new girl should be welcome to him as he was not the man of your dreams after all and you should take some solace from that point alone.
There is a decent guy out there for you and even though you thought you found him, it was unfortunately a very big smoke screen.
Get out there with your girlfriends and just enjoy life right now as you are still very young and don't try to get yourself into a new relationship quickly but just take your time and be picky this time.
Let him get on with it with this new girl, sounds to me that all the talk of moving in together etc could all end in tears in a short while in any case and by then you could easily be in a new relationship with a guy who loves and respects you.
Enjoy yourself now and perhaps get yourself away with your friends even for a short break if possible and then this guy will melt away from your thoughts.
Keep yourself busy and don't put yourself in a situation where you know both your ex and this girl will be. If you happen to bump into him then be happy and nonchalant and that will bug him even more he was obviously not that important to you in his eyes.
It will be hard but by getting angry at the way he has spread this gossip/facts about your sex life, I would be livid and that would make all the feelings I had for this guy vanish in a instant.
Stay strong, positive and busy.
Best of luck.
You can always let me know how things are going at any time OK.
BFN
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