A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My wife of 4 years returned from her pap smear with irregular cells. This in itself is terrifying. We found out they weren't cancer, so that was a huge relief. My question: when my wife told me she had the irregular cells, she then said, "I told you I had HPV (genital warts), right?" I paused, shocked. No, she hadn't told me that. I said, "I think so." She told me that she had another STD, but not HPV.I feel like I've been lied to, and I'd like advice on how best to bring this up. Thanks.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 September 2010): Guy- let this go. If you love this woman, apologize (if you were rude about it), and move on. She didn't intentionally get it, it's very common. If you were to re-enter the dating pool, you'd likely hookup with another woman with it...
A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (30 September 2010):
 In terms of STDs, HPV will have the least impact on you. It's symptomless in men, and doesn't affect your fertility. You can only be a carrier. She did tell you she had an STD, so she wasn't lying to you. It's actually kind of good news, since it's such a harmless disease to you.
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A
female
reader, Moo's Mum  +, writes (30 September 2010):
 Honestly I think this is just a miscommunication rather than her outright lying to you about it. I think she truly thought she had told you when she told you she had an STD. By the way if your partner comes with an STD HPV is the one you want as it causes the least problems with everyday life.
In terms of bringing this up with her I would start off by saying how scared you were over the pap smear result and telling her you love her and never want to lose her and then you can ask about the STD and tell her you felt funny about the whole thing.
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A
female
reader, SillyB +, writes (30 September 2010):
 Not all forms of HPV are genital warts.
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A
male
reader, Ldu  +, writes (30 September 2010):
Just be straight up and ask her about it. You have all the right in the world to know these kinds of things from your significant other.
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