A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am going out with an amazing guy, we will call him Q. He's intelligent, gorgeous, funny and we really click. We have a lot of chemistry, both physical and otherwise and the sex has been amazing!There is one slight problem. I have known Q for a number of years through mutual friends. In this time we never really spoke, but would bump into each other from time to time, there was nothing to suggest we would ever hook up in this time - it was always brief hellos and no real conversations.So when one of my male friends told me a story about him and Q getting touchy feely with each other one night and Q admitting he sometimes likes guys, I didn't really think much of it at the time.It was only shortly after Q and I got together I remembered the story I'd been told months ago.Since Q and I have been together he has made a number of comments in which he has declared he wouldn't do anything with a guy. I can think of about 4 occasions off the top of my head. He has also stated to me that he knows my male friend is straight(as other people often question it) despite the fact this guy is a very close friend of mine and has told me he is bisexual.I really, would not be bothered in the slightest if Q "sometimes" likes guys. What bothers me is that on a number of occasions he has stated things to the contrary. I can understand if he wouldn't want to admit it to me just yet, but it feels like lying, and I am left feeling really uncomfortable about it, and questioning why he would lie. I don't want to put him on the spot by asking him about it before he might be ready to talk about it, but at the same time I don't like having something like this at the back of my mind.So the question, what should I do? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 June 2009): He's bi, but feels ashamed about it and isn't ready to admit it.
You say you wouldn't be bothered in the slightest if he likes guys. Maybe you need to make this clear to him, drop a few hints. Maybe next time you see a hot guy, say something like 'he's gorgeous isn't he?', or maybe at intimate moments say something like 'be honest with me, would you like a man to do (whatever)?' when he's already turned on and his defences are down.
Or something along those lines, in a way that makes it clear it's totally OK with you. Don't put him directly on the spot, as in 'Is it true you like men?, just gently try to tease the truth out of him.
But you do need him to be honest, because his feelings for guys won't just go away, and it's WAY better that it's out in the open, rather than risk a situation where he's running around behind your back with men, and lying about it, and exposing you to STD's.
best of luck xx
A
male
reader, citic101  +, writes (30 June 2009):
 Are you sure that your other friend was telling the truth about him and Mr.Q ? Perhaps he lies because one he cant face the truth or number two he doesn't know what your reaction will be.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 June 2009): Hey!The subject of being bisexual is still pretty taboo in society, and a lot of girls would have an issue with their boyfriend liking both.So what I would say is, he probably isn't saying anything because he doesn't want to scare you off. Although you have it on good authority that he is bisexual - he is lying to keep you. So its not him hiding things in a bad way, it just seems to be him trying to not scare you off!Maybe bring into conversation that you'd never have an issue with a boyfriend being bisexual and sometimes liking guys, that might make it easier to discuss - knowing that you have no issue with it. He's only lying cause he wants to keep you :) I wouldn't tell my girlfriend that I've fooled around with guys in the past cause shed be weirded out! Ignorance is bliss, and he's assuming you don't know about it.or maybe suggest that your mutual bisexual friend tells you everything, that might put make Q sweat a bit, then say if there's anything he wants to say?either way :Phope it works out!
...............................
|
