A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Today was Easter and my boyfriend left me alone. Though I am not religious at all, it's a holiday and we had agree to at least see each other (actually, he even got a bit sad when I said I'd spend the day with my family, instead of with him).He is MIA for 3 days. Yesterday afternoon he left me a facebook message saying that he was having some trouble with his house's plumbing and that he'd call me that night. He never did.Today I didn't even get a Happy Easter text.He never checks his phone so I left him a facebook message informing that I'd spend the day with my family (about 15minutes away from his house), so I wouldn't be able to stay all day on facebook - if he wanted to talk to me he should text me before. Even then, I checked my facebook every 30 minutes. He didn't even saw the message (as that "seen" chat thing did not appear).Whenever I try to discuss this hurtful no-show behavior, he apologizes, tells me why he didn't give me a sign of life, and changes subject. Sometimes gets mad if I try to reintroduce the subject or try to discuss it further, and will definitely get mad if I cry because of it (which only happened twice).On the other hand, I never disappeared. And the only time I got late was because I thought we were supposed to meet at 2pm, when we had agreed to do it at 1pm. I was 1hr late, he called me (and that was when I realized I had confused the times) and got mad, said he had been "waiting like an idiot for an hour" and cancelled the date.Basically, the only time I was late was because of a misunderstanding and he got ridiculously mad, but then he stands me up for hours and gets MIA for days and I have no right to be upset.Besides this issue, he is almost the perfect man. So I won't break up, I just need tips on how to deal with this.Concerning today's event, I decided not to contact him whatsoever, and wait for him to do it.
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female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (1 April 2013):
 I don't think he is HEARING you at all. And I don't think he will change. I would try and be less available and see if he initiates more, if not, well, maybe he isn't that into the relationship after all.
If you have certain expectations (such as NOT going MIA for 3 days TALK to him about it, don't forget he can not read your mind.)
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (1 April 2013):
 He won't change. You have tried , I suppose, to reason with him, to explain him how is behaviour is disrepectful, you have tried pleading and cryng.. and nothing works. I think the assumption he operates on is " I do what I want when I want, and YOU do what I want when I want ". Personally I think that this habit of not taking seriously any plan or appointment he has with you is simply awful, and he should be really a shining jewel of a man under any other aspect,to compensate such a rude , selfish habit. But since you say you won't break up with him over that, then I guess you'll just have to put up with it, and accept that you can't count on his words and promises, you'll just see him when you'll see him, and make the best of the attention he wants to give you when he wants to give it .
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A
male
reader, bruce lee  +, writes (1 April 2013):
 Well, you might have to learn the most basic rule of life in order to deal with this...Do NOT worry about things beyond you're control. He is not going to change. So, you either put up with it, or leave him. I don't know what else to say. I hope that helps. adios
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