I've just found out he has a baby son! He never told me!

Tagged as: Dating, Family, Troubled relationships

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Question - (31 March 2013)

5 Answers - (Newest, 2 April 2013)

A female age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I have been seeing a guy casually for nearly a year and a half now. I am developing strong feelings for him but now I have just found out that prior to meeting me he got a girl pregnant and had a baby son. I found out from one of his friends not him personally as he has never mentioned this before. I don't know why he hasn't told me as I seem to be the only one that doesn't know. I want to talk to him about this but how is the best way? We have never been gf n bf but I still feel a sense of betrayal for not telling me after seeing him for so long. I'm really upset but also angry I just don't know what the best way is to approach him??

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (2 April 2013):

I still think after all this time he should have said something to me. I know he is not big in the kids like at all his friend said he wasn't even going to tell him but had to since he knew the girl. I just don't know how I am going to be able to look at him after knowing this hence why I thought better idea to start conversation with what are we/ how he feels about me etc than bringing up the baby

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A reader, anonymous, writes (1 April 2013):

To be fair OP you say you've been seeing this guy CASUALLY for a year and a half and that you were never really BF and GF.

In other words you were friends with benefits. In that situation his personal life out side of your "relationship" was not really your business in the way it would have been if you were in a proper relationship.

I think the fact he didn't tell you about his son is a clear indication that he felt differently towards the situation with you than you did. You say it was casual and not proper BF and GF but now you know you've developed feelings for him. He probably doesn't feel the same way. If you both had developed feelings then it wouldn't be casual and "not bf and gf" a year and a half down the line.

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A female reader, Honeypie +, writes (1 April 2013):

I would just be honest and tell him that you heard he has a son and you are wondering why he didn't tell you sooner.

After a year and a half he should trust you enough to tell you and honestly, IMHO he should have told you in the beginning. I'm pretty sure it wouldn't have been as big of a deal as it is for him to not tell you.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (1 April 2013):

Hi I'm the poster of the q

It wasn't even a relationship between them two just a one night stand. From what I've been told he is not big in the kids life and doesn't particularly care. I just don't know how he is going to react.

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A female reader, NORA B +, writes (1 April 2013):

Yes i can understand that you upset and angry with this guy that you have been seeing for nearly a year and a half.There is only one approach-ask him straight out and the reason that he did not tell you.Keeping in mind that you dont know how this relationship ended .Maybe this guy has a Problem with TRUST.Best Luck Nora B.

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