A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am feeling quite down on things at the moment. Amongst other things, I feel like my boyfriend is bored with me. He has never said he is, and he wouldn't be as mean to, but he seems to not be that interested in me at the moment. Although I am doing the best I can in life, I am finding it a real struggle at the moment. I am hugely proud of all my boyfriend has achieved but I find myself getting jealous of my boyfriend at the moment (I never get jealous of anyone). He has a good career and top of the range car, whilst I was made redundant back in March and am feeling drained from month after month of filling in many pages of application forms and running about looking for work or going for job interviews. I just feel resentful that after slogging my guts out at uni, and year after year of successfully studying for exams in an attempt to better myself (whilst holding down a full time job), my career has never taken off at all. In fact, friends of mine who have done very little have done far better than me. I’ve always been very prudent with money but I find myself with a little over £100 in all the world. I am trying to feel proud of myself by telling myself how good it is that I manage to have £100 saved even though I am having to live on £60 a week. I am trying to remain upbeat. I live in a very rural area and have no car (I had a health condition which means I couldn’t drive for a year so I sold it but now of course I can’t afford one). My friends have all moved away now, and the one friend I have around here (well 20 miles away) rarely goes out at night because she has a baby. Meanwhile, my boyfriend is extremely lucky - his extended family are very close and he has many friends who are all still living in his town so when we don't get to see each other he is always going out on these amazing nights out so he has this amazing support network. My parents’ families are not at all close as a family. I recently tried to approach a cousin because I wanted the cousins to build a relationship even if the aunts and uncles didn’t want to and he rejected me saying he didn’t know who I was and laughed about it!!!!! My boyfriend and I are in a long distance relationship so it is not even like we can see each other that much. My boyfriend is very humble though, and would never flaunt his success, but I just feel inadequate alongside him.I was going to move out some months ago whilst I was in work but found I couldn’t even afford the cheapest rent. I have been on the housing register for 6 years because I have no other way of finding anywhere to live but there is a housing shortage.My boyfriend hasn’t really been showing me much interest at the moment, although he hasn’t really been showing a great deal of interest in anything at times. I think our sexual problems could be to do with it (another story). I think he is depressed or something but he just won’t talk to me about it.My family (and I when I am in a better frame of mind) actually joke from time to time at what a catalogue of disaster my life has been at times. I hate complaining like this as I always try to remain positive. I think it could be I just feel trapped in my situation at the moment and can't see my way through all the rubbish, and I don't know where to turn to as I feel I have no support network.All I want is the lovely attentive boyfriend back that I had in the beginning of our relationship, a good job and a roof over our heads - that's all I ask. I am trying to be supportive of my boyfriend whilst feeling I need to be supported by him too.
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cheap, cousin, depressed, his ex, jealous, long distance, money, trapped Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Serenity1  +, writes (3 October 2008):
 I experienced the same as far as job shortage. I had my BS in health admin before I finally landed a job worth keeping. just keep your head up things will get better.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 October 2008): My boyfriend and I do spend lovely nights together when we can, but we both recognise that we have to enjoy our own lives too! It's just he has disposable income to enjoy a life of his own whereas I don't and I guess I am a little jealous of it.
I will try to think of myself more. I don't think my boyfriend intends to come across bad; he has a really good heart and is very humble, but somewhere along the way we have lost our spark for one another probably because of all the upheaval we have been going through.
I am currently having a rethink about our whole relationship. It seems like neither of us is happy at the moment and I am very conscious that it could be many more months still before I get a job to enable us to move in together.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 October 2008): I wonder why there seems to be a divide between you and your boyfreind? should you both not be enjoying sucsess nights out together etc? your self esteem is low and this will account for your bad feelings, please just concentrate on you now and reach for the stars take different routes if not unusual to what you normally would. He sounds like a selfish git to me and leaving you hanging from his tail feathers. Time for you to fly! stop feeling sorry for yourself and envious of others and resentful this is not the REAL YOU, live YOUR life you can do it alone.
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