A
male
age
41-50,
*onfused1982
writes:Hi,I've kind of got to the stage where I need some advice. I'm 25 and my girlfriend is 22. We've been together for 5 years.I do love her, but recently i've been seriously considering ending it. I did date girls before her, but she was my first serious girlfriend.About two and a half years ago she broke up with me for 2 months. She eventually came back to me claiming she had made a mistake. The thing is, as horrible as it was, that time really opened my eyes to a life without her. I was happy to have her back, but did wonder what would have happened if it had ended then and there.Sex has frequently come up as a problem for us, and despite attempts to spice things up, she has very little interest in sex. Although this isn't a major issue, it hasn't helped.Recently, she has had alot of problems and supporting her has been mentally and physically draining. She takes alot of her anger out on me. She always apologises but I feel like i've reached my limit. I don't want to hurt her, but I feel like it isn't fair on either of us to continue if I feel like this. I don't want to cheat on her, but I have been thinking more and more about other women.I just want to do the right thing, but I don't know what that is. I can't help but feel like this relationship doesn't have much of a future and we're growing apart. Any advice would be appreciated.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 February 2007): I think you know in your mind and heart that this one is over. Just be brave and strong and tell her exactly how you feel. You cannot go on like this, life is just too short. You may even discover that she feels the same way. Just get it out in the open and don't wait until tomorrow, do it today.
Take care
xx
A
male
reader, Dr. John  +, writes (11 February 2007):
 How much do you love her?
You can put up with ANYTHING that comes up providing you do actually love her.
When I married my wife it didn't take me long to figure out she was holding in a lot of anger and problems. It took me some time to get her to start venting these problems and feelings and if I didn't love her we would have been divorced many years ago.
She cannot seem to learn to just vent the feelings without turning and verbally attacking those around her, mainly me.
Sometimes I even have to verbally attack her to get her to let loose, at which time she may break down and cry or shout or other things like that.
The point is, if you love her, and I mean be honest with yourself, hang in there and endeavor to understand her and her feelings and where she is coming from. The rewards can be great. Hope it all goes well. Doc.
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A
female
reader, AskEve +, writes (11 February 2007):
 Well I think you've given this relationship your all but it's still not right for you. I can understand that you don't want to hurt her but sometimes we need to go through the "hurting" process before we heal. I'm sure you'll be hurt inside too, ending what's been 5 years of your life but I really think it's for the best.
You seem to have made your mind up, stick to it and don't look back. You got along without her before and you will again, she'll get over it and she'll heal and be able to move on and find someone who IS really compatable for her.
The sooner you tell her the sooner you'll be able to move on with the rest of your life. You still have so much of it to live and if you carried on in this relationship you'd be making a terrible mistake but of course I think you know that. When one door closes another one opens... close the door behind you then welcome your future. :o)
I wish you the very best in your future and I hope you achieve everything your heart desires.
Eve
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