A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:Dear cupid, I'm 18 and my boyfriend is 23. We have been together since June 2006. I have Avoidant Personality Disorder and it is creating problems for me and my boyfriend. We are not as close as we should be and we do not know eachother as well as we should considering we have known eachother for so long and it's all because of me and my problems. He wants me to open up to him and talk to him and just be normal but it's hard for me. If you have no idea what avoidant personality disorder is, symptoms include: Being over sensitive criticism or disapproval Having no close friends Reluctance to become involved with people Avoiding activities or occupations that involve interpersonal contact Extreme shyness and fear of doing something wrong, Fear of ridicule,embarassment and rejectionExaggerating potential difficultiesHow do I get help? It's really causing problems for he and I. I just can't talk even about little things and everything is so awkward and I never say how I feel because I'm scared. I'm not a talkative person, I'm so quiet and shy and you can never have a proper conversation with me at all (even if its about something insignificant). This frustrates him and it looks like he wants to give up (understandably). I want us to be together and I want our relationship to work but its not and I don't want to loose him but I'm so set in my ways. What should I do? Please help
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 February 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionSorry AskEve I was a little frustrated after waiting forever. lol Didn't mean to take it out on you. xxx I've tried several times to watch it and I still haven't seen it, so I'll just forget about it and find some kind of therapist. Thanks anyway.
By the way I don't have a Macintosh PC so I don't know why it doesn't work. I've given up now so...I don't care anymore, they can take my money. lol
A
female
reader, AskEve +, writes (12 February 2007):
 I don't work for them lol, I just watched it, same as I'm telling you to do and it made a big impact in my life. You will have an email from them saying you paid your money so you haven't lost it, it's still there for you to watch and you won't need to pay again. Read your email and click on the link it gives you.
It might be a good idea to do a clean up of all your unused files first, if you have too many files clogging up your PC it makes it run slower. Go into start: all programs: accessories: system tools: disk cleanup. A box will come up saying it is scanning your files. Then you will be able to clean up your disk space. Just make sure all the boxes are ticked then click "okay." It will then clear up your "C" drive taking away all the crap and cookies leaving your PC working faster.
It does say "NOTE: The online movie is currently not compatible on Macintosh computers with Intel processors." It works with every PC EXCEPT Macintosh so if it not that then it should work fine. Another reader of this site has watched it and she agreed it's excellent (see below) so it DOES work. Just be patient. Remember: YOU DON'T NEED TO PAY ANY MONEY AGAIN IF YOU HAVE ALREADY PAID IT. Just click on the link to the email they sent you and it will work, just be patient. Even if you only watch half of it, you can still go back at a later date and see it from where it left off. Trust me, I'm not trying to con you.
It's definitely NOT a scam and I definitely am NOT gaining a cent, so try again. Let me know how you get on okay?
Eve
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 February 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionNow I WAITED FOR HALF AN HOUR AND NOTHING HAPPEND! Now I'm thinking this 'the secret' was a scam and I've just been conned out of $4.99. There is no secret, that movie doesn't exist and it is just a scam to get people's money. They keep you waiting there hoping that soon you'll grow impatient and close it and forget about it and then they take your money. Thats how it seems to me. The same thing happened when I attempted to watch the trailor, I waited for a very long time and nothing happened and I have come to the conclusion that the movie doesn't exist. Possibly you work for them and you've just recommended it to me to gain a profit. Its a scam, thanks for recommending it to me, I regret that I was gullible enough to fall for it. Thanks a lot. Thats the last time I come here for help.
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 February 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionAskEve, I followed all the instructions, I gave them all my details, my address, card number and everything and then I clicked on the part that says watch now. Then it says 'there may be a delay of several seconds please authorise pop up promt.'
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female
reader, AskEve +, writes (12 February 2007):
The video is geared for EVERYONE no matter where they live and you can watch it "RIGHT NOW" as soon as you click your PC on, you don't have to wait 3 weeks to buy it!! I'm in the UK too and I watched it immediately. (And it's only £2.50) I could have given you links galore to help you but this will help you far more.
It's entirely up to you! You have to WANT to help yourself! Take my advice.... WATCH IT!
Eve
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 February 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks AskEve but I was looking for some 'right now' advice. That video thing takes 2-3 weeks to arrive and costs money, and its more directed towards Americans and I am in England. I was hoping someone on this website could help me directly. Like Dr.John who recommended those websites. Thank you for that Dr.John, I'll look at where I can get therapy locally. Until then anyone else who has advice for me I will be thankfull.
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 February 2007): Seriously, watch that video Eve is suggesting. She recommended it to me and... oh. my. god. thats the best advice anyone will ever ever ever give you!! x x x
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female
reader, AskEve +, writes (11 February 2007):
I read what you said with interest, you said "I'm set in my ways." Now, if that's the case then your relationship won't work and you will never be able to beat it. Do you know you can achieve WHATEVER YOU WANT TO ACHIEVE? You just have to BELIEVE that you can.
I want you to watch a movie which I am recommending for both you and your boyfriend. It costs $4.99 or £2.50 to watch. I have spoken to people just like yourself who say they are so set on their ways that they CAN'T change. I've even spoken to people who don't want to be here any more as everything was too much of a struggle for them. I told them to watch this movie and... well, read the comments for yourself -
"That lady saved my life. She helped me out of the roughest times in my life, not only that she was dead correct on what I should do and what will happen next and help me find myself and make me proud of who I am. It’s not everyday you find someone like her. I am proud to know Eve and cannot thank her enough." – Eric
"We can't Thank You enough, especially me for all you have done for Dan and will continue to do for him. He's never before had anyone that actually cared about what is going on in his life. No one can do for Dan what you do, and I know you’re a very special person to him and you will be forever. Without you Dan would probably not be here." - Jen, PA
"How can I explain what that movie did to me? I don't seem to know the right words at the moment to thank you enough for it. I am so thrilled to have received the knowledge, I just feel different already. This movie is going to change my life! I USED to think, I am only one person, what can I do about it? NOW I think, I am only one person, What am I going to do to make my world better?
Thank you so much Eve for sending me the link to that movie. I am so proud to have you as one of my friends." - Jo, Australia
Now THEY watched the movie! I suggest you do too. It's called 'The Secret', the link is below.
http://thesecret.tv/home.html
Watch it WITH your boyfriend and listen to it carefully. Let me know what you think okay?
Enjoy!
Eve
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A
male
reader, Dr. John  +, writes (11 February 2007):
 I do understand your problem and I know that treatment could involve Psychodynamic therapy, Cognitive-behavioral therapy, Group therapy, Interpersonal therapy, Self-hypnosis and more.
I presume you are in the UK so I don't know for sure what resources you have available to you since I am in the USA but I found some websites that may give you a place to start. They should at least be able to get you pointed in the right direction. Best wishes. Doc.
http://www.social-anxiety.org.uk/links/links.htm?cid=1
http://www.selfharmony.co.uk/directory/
http://www.emedicine.com/ped/topic189.htm
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