A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi all. I'm 22 and I've been in a relationship for about 3 years now. This is my first proper relationship. Shes 19. Things have been okay. But its starting to feel abit like a brother - sister relationship, instead of lovers. Plus the fact that we've still not had sex. To start with I was cool - I wouldnt ever want someone to do something they're not comfortable with. But it's starting to feel like it's never going to happen.What should I do? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, TasteofIndia  +, writes (3 November 2009):
 Well, do you know why she's waiting? Is she waiting until marriage? I personally think that you can still keep this relationship hot, even without the sex. Maybe you have gotten into a routine and you're in a little bit of a rut. Maybe you need to spark up certain areas of your relationship, like doing new things together, being adventurous, going on dates. And maybe that will spark things back up in the bedroom too.
Ask her what she's feeling is missing, open up the lines of communication. And it's probably not a great idea to lead or be pushy about the sex issue, and at least don't make her feel like that's all you want from her. I assume that you want your relationship to be happy, so let her know and see what she thinks could make things happier.
Good luck, sweetness!!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 November 2009): Ask her to marry you? Sex will be included then. Sorry, it may be a bad joke, but perhaps she wants to wait until marriage? Ask her. She's an adult now and able to make her own decisions.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (3 November 2009):
You need to talk to her about where she sees this relationship going. Don't be afraid to say to her that you feel as if the relationship needs a boost to keep it going. Well done for not forcing her into anything, but after 3 years, it is getting to the point where she needs to at least consider it. More than anything, sit her down and ask her how she feels and ask her where she sees it going. Listen to her carefully, and talk to her.Good luck
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