A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hey there Cupids So basically an old friend and I have just started talking again after 2 months. To cut a long story short, I was going through some hard stuff and he was not there as a friend. He got in contact with me and wanted us to start again, and we did. So after a big argument and a long conversation we agreed to never hurt each other again. Then a few weeks in and it is like old times, except one problem, my birthday is this week, and I asked him what he was doing and he said seeing friends who live over the other side of the country. So this is my problem, as we are trying to get back to where we were, do I make this a argument? I have spent every birthday with him since I was 16, and I’m turning 24. I said ‘are you being serious?’ and he did not know what to say, and we spent the rest of the day not talking to each other. I feel like we are just going to go back to not talking. I feel really annoyed, like why keep treating me like this, why would you want to make up with me then go off on my birthday? I honestly can’t deal with another argument and feel like saying you know what forget it. He was like, ‘but we can still do something or go somewhere’, but I’m not interested. I thought after the time we have had over these few months he would be there but I keep giving him these chances and it’s getting stupid. All my friends tell me why bother with him, and I partially agree, but I guess I care a lot about him. What should I do? This friendship means a lot to me but it’s getting way to much.Thank you Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2013): Hey, now that's fine
that's why i posted i needed to see it from other peoples point of view. I don't like arguments anr/ or starting them. I appreciate that advice, it makes me reflect on the whole thing. I'm just not good with these things and don't want to make any thing worse.
Thanks
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (3 August 2013):
 Seriously?
HE is your friend not your right arm. HE is ALLOWED to have a life of his own that doesn't REVOLVE or INVOLVE you.
If you WANT to celebrate your birthday with HIM find a day where you can BOTH be there.
I think you are being 100% unreasonable.
In the 16 years I have been married my husband have missed 7 of my birthdays and 8 of our anniversaries due to work and twice due to funerals he HAD to attend. It's CALLED life. Shit happens. Then you get over it.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2013):
Hey sweetie, I think you like this guy more than a friend hence the big deal outta him traveling on your day.
Guess what you need to really take a good hard look at what your saying.. An argument over a friend traveling hmm yes birthdays are special I agree . But hey every day is special to me.. You need to grow up a little .. Or tell the guy how you feel.. Who knows he might just feel something too hence his coming back ..
Let him go to his friends.. Say cheekily when you come back you can take me for a meal and drink to make up to me.. Haha ..
Even married couples are allowed sometimes to do things apart .. If you want more and that how it comes across.. Don't get on the controlling bandwagon ..
Take care and be sweet x
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A
female
reader, Brokenv  +, writes (3 August 2013):
Every birthday is important but I think you are being a big, no huge baby. If I was your friend I would cut you out of my life. Your needs seem to be way more important then what is going on in his life.
I think you need to grow up and start supporting your friend and his adventures. You will be a lonely person in life.
Oh have a happy birthday!
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (3 August 2013):
What should you do? Stop acting like the world revolves around you would be a good place to start.
If this kind of drama is normal it's no wonder you guys stopped talking in the first place. I'm speechless.
If he was your husband you MIGHT have a case. Even then it'd be controlling of you to get angry about it. My wife visited her sister in Switzerland and was gone my birthday and Christmas. Sure I wanted her there, but it was the only time she could go because of other commitments, and she had no seen her sister in three years.
If you feel you can't be friends with someone who happens to travel on your birthday you may find yourself friendless one day. Sorry to be harsh, but you need a dose of reality.
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