A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm not sure what to think anymore. Ive been with my boyfriend almost 3 years. When we met he gave up going out to bars every night because I wasnt old enough (him being 10 years senior my new adult status). A few of his female friends were strippers he would go see while they were working, he gave those up too. Now we have been (I thought happily) living together for 2.5 years and neither one of us really sees opposite sex friends except for work and school (we still see same sex friends). I try to give him blow jobs everyday, sometimes 2-3 a day. Of course there are some days where it just doesnt happen. I like sex multiple times a week at least. I encourage him to masturbate and to look at pornography, hell I dont even care if he does it right in front of me, I could care less as long as he's happy. Im open to about anything and have even been trying to pursue a 3 some. I dress up (lingerie, dominatrix style stuff, just heels...)sometimes for him when he comes home on lunch or after work which usually he ends up telling me my outfit is a bad choice or Ive put too much pressure on him. Oh, and Im thin, pretty, and busty. Now the reason I dont know what to think anymore is because I happened to get sick for the first time in over a year and half. Bad sinus infection which has prevented the blow jobs (for 4-5 days) I happened to be on my period at the same time so sex was out too (his choice, not mine). Hes also been having a hard time at work. Anyway, he was quite upset this morning because hes really frustrated sexually. Its ruined the day between us even though I tried to satisfy him anyways I just hurt myself in the process so wasnt very thrilled afterwards esp since he hadnt really enjoyed it. But so much drama and so much irritation over 4-5 days of no blow jobs. The delusional part of me thinks Im a terrible girlfriend since hes supporting me through school and took me out to dinner last week. He doesnt go out to bars or strip clubs anymore (Im still not 21), he does things for me and my sick parents all the time, and overall I think hes pretty good to me. Ive been beating myself up all day over this and cant think of anything I can possibly do differently or better. But another part of me is really pissed off. Sure he pays rent and the bills and feeds me but when Im not sick i blow him all the time, encourage lots of sex and trying new things, cook food (Im not an excellent cook though), clean regularly, and love him with all I am. So to be treated like this and over not being "sucked" all weekend because I was sick seems just completely fucked up. And to top it all off, he never tries any of the stuff I want to try in bed, ever. Ive tried talking to him about this but he just wont do it. I just cant get my thoughts straight. Im starting to become convinced Im in a mentally abusive relationship because I never felt as bad about myself as I have since Ive been with him. Then again I may be overreacting and hes just having a tough time dealing with work and a girlfriend whose been sick (and whiny). I would think most men would be happy their girlfriend is so open and tries her best to please him but it seems like Im in the wrong here.Im sure its pretty evident that my mind if a little confused and warped from this post. I almost feel like I have to get away from him but that Id be doomed to be alone because no one else would put up with me. I dont even know what I like anymore or what I want to do, its all for him and because he wants it. Any suggestions on all this nonsense??
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female
reader, HereAreMyTwoCents +, writes (7 October 2009):
 Look up "codependence" on the internet. This may or may not be you, but its worth a try to find out. From what you're telling us you give him everything you have, sexually, but he's unable to overlook and keep quiet about a sudden absence of sexual activity when you're sick. That is not very considerate of him. " I almost feel like I have to get away from him but that Id be doomed to be alone because no one else would put up with me." This is the part that makes me think you're codependent. You need to get a better outlook about your life, and get better self esteem, then you will be ok, and you will not feel like this anymore. Let me know if you have any other questions.
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