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Was he trying to get closer to me? What’s going on with him?

Tagged as: Dating, Friends with Benefits, Sex, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (12 January 2013) 5 Answers - (Newest, 21 January 2013)
A female United Kingdom age 41-50, *utterflyxxxDreamer writes:

I have been having a casual sexual relationship with a guy for a while now.

He said he wasn’t looking for a relationship and neither was I.

We have been enjoying really great sex but the last time we met up he really confused me.

Straight after we had sex, he suggested to me that we go out to dinner? He has never done that before. Then over dinner he mentioned that we have an intense spark.

He suggested watching a film when we got back, was kissing me a lot more than times before.

He also was a lot more gentle and a lot more quiet sexually than before. He was asking more questions about my life and even complimented me on some of my talents.

We ended up talking more than any of the other times. He went to hug me the morning after but I backed away as I don’t want to get too attached.

He seemed offended but he didn’t say anything.

He told me to text him when I got home. I text him that I would like to see him again and if he wanted to see me again but he completely ignored the question, although he has replied to my other texts since. What’s going on with him? Could he want more possibly?

View related questions: kissing, spark, text

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A female reader, ButterflyxxxDreamer United Kingdom +, writes (21 January 2013):

ButterflyxxxDreamer is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thanks very much for your help. I really thought that my feelings were being reciprocated too by seeing this behaviour but he finally replied after a few weeks and apologised saying things had been difficult on the 'relationship front' (completely out of the blue!) and that he feels its not such a good idea to meet up on in his turf anymore as well as its best for one of his housemates is to be kept in the dark about meeting me. I said I would not continue to see him at all if he was in a relationship now but he swears blind that he is not in a proper committed relationship and still wants to continue to see me? So I guess he is not as into me as I thought? Very confusing!! I mean I wasn't naive to think I was the only girl he was seeing but to hear that statement that he doesnt want one of his friends to meet me hurt quite a bit. Some of his other friends know about me so its a bit odd.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (12 January 2013):

Sounds to me he has realised you're more that just somebody he wants to have casual sex with. He's grown to enjoy your company and clearly likes your personality. I say go for it. Don't get worried about commitment or being too attached. Go for it!!! Trust me if you lose him you'll regret it, I have been there and wish I could go back in time to change what I did.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (12 January 2013):

Yes I think he was interested in more with you. Now is the time to clear this up with him and confirm where you stand to avoid further confusion, hurt feelings and possibly the loss of the FWB relationship altogether.

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A male reader, kenny United Kingdom + , writes (12 January 2013):

kenny agony aunthe is certainly displaying all the signs of liking you alot, he sounds like an ok guy as well. Maybe he wasen't looking for anything serious in the beginning, but from what you say he has become quite attached to you, thats a good thing. Just go with the flow and see what happens, just have fun and enjoy it, these are the best times.

Good luck

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A male reader, CMMP United States +, writes (12 January 2013):

Sounds pretty obvious to me. Why not give it a shot?

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