A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Dear Cupid,hi. long story short. back in the 7th grade, a girl asked me out. this girl was hot. big boobs, nice glowing skin, nice butt. she was one of those girls that was very sexual and flirtatious with the boys. anyway, she wanted to go out with me, but i never said yes because i was scared and shy. i was rather timid back then. i was 11 at the time and she was 13. obviously i wasn't mature back then cause if i was, i would've said yes. we became friends. fast forward a while and i just developed this massive, and i mean MASSIVE crush on her. she was all i ever thought of. i really really wanted her. i wanted to go inside her. i sort of became obsessed with her. in a class we had, every student had a portfolio that contained information about them, including their addresses and such. i couldn't help it, so i looked into her portfolio and found out her address. after i found out her address, i started hanging out in that area, hoping to interact with her and get some. she saw me there a few times, but i did not capitalize because once again, i was shy. i wanted to have sex with her so badly. of course, a lot of boys were after her vagina, so she got into relationships. that made me jealous. my crush on her lasted several years. she didn't know all of those years that i liked her though... i think.now, i haven't seen this girl for a few years, but i dream of her on occasion. i really liked her and here's my problem: i'm starting to beat myself up for not saying yes to her when she asked me out those many years ago. the main reason: because i'm a virgin... at 20. now i think to myself, if i would've said yes to her, i most likely would not be a virgin now. i'm beating myself up badly here and i'm depressed because of it. i imagine if i had said yes, i probably would've broken out of my shell by now and have had multiple girlfriends and sexual conquests, but no! i'm still a virgin at age 20 and i hate it. i sometimes think that a higher power is cursing me for not having said yes to her, therefore, the higher power will keep me a virgin because i never said yes.so i guess my question is: am i being irrational? besides that, i really felt that i needed to vent my frustrations. it's really bothering me, especially because i will be turning 21 next month and i've yet to have intercourse... or even a kiss. i would really welcome any advice/opinions/insight to perhaps comfort me. thanks for any responses
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boobs, crush, depressed, flirt, jealous, shy, still a virgin, vagina Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Elephantlover +, writes (13 October 2009):
I think it's sweet that you're still a virgin.Your virginity is supposed to be something special that you give to someone you love and that chick was obviously a slut that would've done nothing but take your virginity and use you.
A
male
reader, Ifyoudontmind +, writes (6 October 2009):
bro youre making WAY! to big of a deal about this. Your looking at this girls as an object, your lusting for her physically, and you were 11... so, let that die. There are so many millions of beautiful women out there, who want a guy, and being a virgin at 20 is no big deal honestly. Your just not active in a physical aspect, its not a crisis. and just as a side note, sex isnt all its built up to be. When I lost my virginity, I was depressed. Find the right girl.best wishes-iydm
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 October 2009): Get over it, you were eleven ELVEN like you were going to have sex then! Gosh, there will be other girls, stop obsessing stalking this one and get yourself out there meet people ! Maybe if you weren't so absorbed by her you would have noticed that some other people fancied you.Wake up
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A
female
reader, loner  +, writes (6 October 2009):
 If i was you, i would wait for the right girl! Might sound weird, i slept with my ex, i never wanted to but i did, it was the wrong choice, rather wait for the right one, i should have waited the guy i'm seeing now is really amazing and i would have rather wanted to share something this important with someone i love.. You only have this once and when you use it and you know it was wrong then rather wait, you already waited for a reason not so? Dam i would turn time around if i just knew better.. Go out and have fun find a sweet girl that will always be there. Just remember pretty girls are not always what they seem!
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (6 October 2009):
I had the chance to go on a really great roller coaster when I was 15 but I didn't. Now I'm regretting the fact I will never be able to go on roller coasters again...
Does that make sense? I'm sure you're asking yourself why I can't just go and buy a ticket to Alton Towers and go on all the roller coasters I want.
Well it's EXACTLY the same with you. You screwed up when you were a teenager. SO WHAT?? Who cares? Why do you care? It was years ago!!!
If you want a kiss from a girl then go out, get chatting to one, take her out for dinner, and kiss her.
It's really not rocket science.
The only thing that's stopping you from getting all the sex you want or a loving girlfriend is YOU. Stop dwelling on the past and GET OUT THERE!!
Good Luck!! xx
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