A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I feel like i haven't a friend in the world. I finished school last year and all my friends went to collage and I didn't get into collage. I did have two close friends but one decided she,d rather be with her boyfriend and the other sees me like once every 2 weeks. Its hurting me because I,ve tried to keep in touch with my other friends but they,re always busy. I,ve tried to make new friends and move on but these people talk about things in collage while I,m stuck at home looking for a job and not finding one.Even people I talk t online don't reply to me. I don't know what to do...
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male
reader, A Man  +, writes (6 April 2010):
Ah, a very common plight is yours. Trust me, after high school, you'll lose touch with pretty much all your old friends. Sad, but true. Everyone is finally pursuing different paths, and it natural that those paths rarely are the same.
Time to make new friends, it's a scary process, but I promise you it's a very rewarding one!
Since you no longer have a common place to meet people your age (School), you need to seek other places to meet people. Use your interests to join clubs and community classes so you can find people with similar interests. Online isn't a great place to make friends, I'd stick to the real world mostly :)
Also, college isn't the only option, you should consider a trade school, it makes you more hire-able in a field your interested in, and you can make new friends with similar interest. For instance, i did bad in college so I took up drafting at a trade school, i made lots of friends and made myself much more hire-able!
Trust me when I tell you that many people are feeling the same way you do, it's just a matter of finding them. Start expanding your horizons to different social activities. Church, and dance clubs are a great place to meet new people.
If your feeling really left out, start hanging out with your college friends. Just drive into town and chill at their apartment. Trust me when I tell you they are connecting into a new social scene, and there isn't any good reason you can't go along. When college students ask your major, just say that your not in college right now, but you enjoy insert interest here, conversations will gravitate away from college stuff :) And even if you don't, talking with them for a few hours will give you a good idea what college life is like, and then you can hold your own the next time your in a college conversation. This is the more desperate approach and I'd advise just making new friends. Generally your friends will be too spread out to maintain a decent friendship. It's time to move on to grown-up life, its calmer but still interesting :)
I know it SEEMS like ALL your friends are at college, but I know for a fact that there are plenty of your peers in the same situation you are. It's just a matter of finding them. They, like you, will have great hanging out potential.
One last thing, I actually grew a lot closer to my family after high school. My mom always said that friend come and go, but family is always there. I always rolled my eyes, but now I know what she meant. Much to our horror, friends totally ditch you. That's not really an option with family. It's nice to develop friendships where they relationship will be more secure and less flaky. It's actually quite rewarding.
Anyway, I hope this helps. Good luck in your new adventures and may peace always be with you.
A
male
reader, Goodguy84 +, writes (6 April 2010):
Dude, I don't have any friends either man. But I'm ok with it. All my friends have gone off doing there own thing too. Its called life. I've only got one true friend I can count on and he's about 4000 miles away. You'll meet people, trust me, just give it time, it will suck, but give it time.
A little tip, start doing things like a hobby, go to the gym, library, dear lord something that puts you in places where there are people.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 April 2010): You need to think about what your interests are and seek out some groups of people who are interested in those hobbies!
If you have trouble meeting new people, you should look online for some tips on how to get to know other people!
You could look into places locally that take volunteers like museums etc. That's a new way to meet people!
Good luck!
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A
male
reader, The Realist  +, writes (6 April 2010):
 Maybe its time to get out there and find friends who you can relate to. Its sad that she chooses her bf all the time and the other one actually has a reason but I know how hard it can be to keep in touch. A friend of mine is just working now and I find it hard to keep a good friendship going with him even though we have been friends for so long.
Keep trying, don't give up with your friends or finding a job. There are people who care out there who word love to have you as a friend. Its just a tough time that you have to make it through but it will be a brighter future eventually.
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