A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:I'm in desperate help i love my man i have been with him for about a yr and a half .But we don't have sex he says because of my comments i give once in a while but he don't understand its because of the no sex in our lives .I know he ain't cheating because we are always together he never leaves my sight .But i start to get pissed with him alot because he is not making me feel like he is attracted to me .That's what makes me feel loved and he says that's not what makes relationship .And i get angry because i believe it has alot to do with it. And we get into horrible arguments and i just wanna leave him i cry but I'm tired of trying to talk because he says I'm fighting with him. Its getting old and i have told him don't be mad if just one day things are different and I'm gone. I got more action being single any time i wanted i changed my whole life style for him and i had to make a choice between him and another i was dating and i feel like i made a wrong choice .but then he tells me make a list of the good and bad and the only thing is one the list is the no sex its just not fair. and i being wrong or is he being selfish I'm afraid I'm gonna cheat what should i do? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 April 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionok im gonna give it a shoot thank you ....
A
male
reader, A Man +, writes (6 April 2010):
Understanding men's sexual desires is extremely difficult for women.
It sound to me like your tearing him down, unintentionally of course. Men feel emasculated when their partners nag, criticize, or belittle them. They DO NOT feel like having sex with their partner when they feel put down by her. In fact, they become quite unattractive.
Men need someone who accepts them for who they are. Not try to change him. We CERTAINLY don't like it when you say negative things about us. Don't expect sex after doing things like this.
If you want it to work, your going to have to sit down and talk with him about what YOU can do to change things, not what HE can do to change things. Tell him you'll stop nagging and criticizing. You'll stop fighting with him when you want him to do something. Once you make an effort to make the relationship more peaceful and happy for him, you'll be surprised what he's willing to do for you. Stop nagging and you'll start to look A LOT more tempting.
Relationships are about thinking about your partner first. NO, that's NOT an excuse for you tell him to start thinking about YOU first. That's telling YOU to think about HIM first. I think you'll be surprised how happy it makes you feel to bend over backwards for others.
Let me bring up another concern, he told you that relationships aren't about sex. He's right. As strange as this may seem, there are some guys that don't want to be used. Maybe he feels you only want him for sex. Maybe he feels like a punching bag with vibrator. Change the way you treat him, and he'll change the way he treats you. Until you get this resolved, find a non-cheating way to get rid of your urges. Focus on helping him feel better about the relationship. Once he's happy, tell him what will make you feel better about the relationship. He'll be MUCH more responsive, trust me.
Good luck and peace be with you :)
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