A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have been with my boyfriend for almost 4 years now. We were high school sweethearts and I love him very much. When we graduated we moved to college together, and are currently living in an apartment together. I always thought he was the guy I would marry, but lately I've just become more and more confused about what I want. He has never done anything but be perfect, but lately I just find that I am no longer attracted to him. Whats even worse is that not too long ago I actually cheated on him. It's not something I'm proud of, and I know it really hurt him. We are trying to work through it, but part of me just doesn't even want to try. Part of me is curious to take a break with my current relationship and go and see what else is out there. It is hard for me when I am in college, and on weekends all of my friends are going out, meeting new guys, and still out having fun, when I can't join them. I feel like I have never been single and had a chance to date around, but I know that if I give up what I have I may never get it back. What should I do?
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male
reader, youwillhateme  +, writes (9 June 2008):
whats the point ? you already cheated, and you don't want to work through it. you have answered your own question.
you don't love him anymore, and you need to tell him this. he will want to know why, if he's never done anything but be perfect, you don't love him anymore, he'll want to know whats changed. he will be dissapointed, cos he probably thought you were different from those other girls who like to sleep around, but young people are generally like you, so don't be too down on yourself, cos your just the same as almost everyone else. wanting to throw away the perfect boyfriend, for the chance to sleep with a few other guys.
i just wish i had a boyfriend like yours
A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 June 2008): There is no right or wrong answer to this. My feeling is that you are not ready or even possibly capable of a real and lasting love relationship. You were too young in my opinion to move in with a guy in college that you dated since high school, you both are simply playing house and you are getting bored.
I think you need to be single and learn how to be independent without a boyfriend, learn your own mind, likes dislikes and don't get in a serious relationship right away. Don't go screwing around either, that will just get you an STD and probably hurt, but date around and get to know some other guys. Yes, you will probably lose what you have, but you don't seem to honor it or want it, you aren't ready to commit and I don't blame you, you have a lot of life ahead of you and you probably don't know who you are. Don't hurt your boyfriend by finding someone and then dumping him or cheating on him that is wrong and very disrespectful, if I were him I would have shown you the door and told you not to let it hit you in the ass on your way out, but that is me.
Take care, good luck.
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