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female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: I feel like I am alone.I have empty sex with guys who Im sure dont want to see me in the morning and when I feel like a man is getting to close to me I push them away.I have a couple of guys who want to date me right now but for some reason Im afraid of dating.Im scared of getting hurt by exposing my heart to the opposite sex.How do I feel better without hurting myself or others?should I go out with one of the guys who want to date me? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 December 2006): I think you are better off getting to know the blokes first and then much later having sex with them. Don't be in such a hurry. Getting to know them indepth can be so rewarding and you have a long and lasting relationship to build on.
If you do go with guys who just have sex with you and then nothing happens then they are not worth bothering with. Just let it be a life's lesson to you. We all get hurt at some point along the way just as long as we learn something from this.
Take care and Merry Christmas
xx
A
male
reader, Yos  +, writes (21 December 2006):
 Being intimate with someone always runs the risk of getting hurt. There's no way around that. At some point you have to say the risk is worth it. I'd suggest picking the guy you like the most and dating him but not having sex for a while. That way you can work out if you really like him (and if he really likes you), before you take it further. Just take your time getting to know him and don't keep worrying about where it is going, enjoy the moment for what it is and keep things simple.
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A
female
reader, Juliette  +, writes (21 December 2006):
 You have to take some chances in life and part of that is getting hurt. There is that old saying "better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all". Do you fancy either of the guys who want to date you? Do they show signs of enjoying your company and getting to know you rather than just expressing an interest in sex? I already read somewhere else, a children's book, that you have to try people on to see if they fit. Why not have a date with each of the guys, after all, you are not in a committed relationship, just seeing which one sparks any feelings of trust and interest to get to know him further, then choose one or none, depending on how you feel. It may seem a bit old-fashioned but if a guy really is into you, he will wait for sex. Why not try that tactic for a while, after all, if a guy goes off because you won't have sex in the first few months of a relationship he isn't worth it anyway.
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