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female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: there is one man who is crazy about me.He makes me feel happy and I think I love him.I have known him for a long time and I have never done anything with him in fear that I might get to attatched to him in a sexual way.I dont want to hurt him by telling him that I will never date him.but I dont want to loose him.should I just date him and see what happends? or should I just keep being friend with him and possibly make are relationship stronger? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 December 2006): I know what you mean. Sometimes in our lives there are people who we are such good friends with and they seem to really be crazy over us then we go out with them and it is never the same. I suggest you go out on a date with him. Test the water, what do you have to lose? Try not to get too close to him at first and gradually get to know him. I'm sure you will know from a couple of dates just how it is going. If you feel you can't ruin your perfect friendship with him then don't go on a date, and let him know that you two can always be friends, but i wouldn't say to him that you can never be anything more. Who knows how things may develop in the future.
Take care and merry christmas
xx
A
female
reader, mitta  +, writes (21 December 2006):
Im not sure that you know what you want or how you feel. You say this guy makes you happy, you think you love him and that he's crazy about you. You say that you dont want to lose him and that you want to make you relationship stronger. Why not date him?
I think you might have other underlying issues about attachment. Have you been hurt before? Do you have problems with you parents? Are they divorced? If I were you I would question why you obviously have a fear of getting close to someone.
Perhaps you really do love him and are scared that in the long run you will lose him. While this is honourable, in the long run you wont be happy. If you love him you have to express it. Love isnt something you can keep bottled up inside.
I used to have a fear of getting romantically close to people until i gave in to one lovely man who made me infinately happy. Unfortunately we split up a year ago. It hurt me greatly, but I am glad that we got together and experienced the love we did, because it was amazing. There is a saying, 'It's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.'
You cant live you're life without love, and unfortunately you will get hurt sometimes, but the happiness you will find in love will far outweigh any heartache in the long run.
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