A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I'm feeling totally confused with everything at the moment. Ive been with my boyfriend for 7 months, things have been moving at a fairly slow pace which i dont mind but over the past few months i feel like hes half in the relationship and is half not.He's useless at communication so while at the start of our relationship we would call/ text not in massive amounts but at least id get some communication... now he doesnt seem bothered. I keep thinking that if he didnt want to be in the relationship anymore he would just end it. Due to us both being very busy our time together is fairly limited, this is on both sides but more on his as hes constantly out doing extreme sports. He said the other day to me hes getting annoyed we cant spend as much time together as he would like and things will change come October when hes done his big race hes been training for 6 months. But then when i saw him on tues i was a bit upset because he was dashing off so i was quiet and later text saying sorry if i was a bit of a grump i was just upset over a few things and he never replied! I feel like giving up but half of me doesnt want to i just need more from him and im not getting it!
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female
reader, stephi23 +, writes (16 September 2010):
i dont think u ave alot to worry bout hun. men dnt think like us we like attention n like to no wot there up2 n spend time with them. there more chilled back than us. i would just ask him out right do u think r relationship is going any where???
A
male
reader, The Realist  +, writes (16 September 2010):
 Being that its only 7 months into the relationship I would have to say that you are better off with someone else. A lack of cumunication now won't just get better as time goes on and it seems that he has no will to put any effort into it anyway.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 September 2010): Look, let not your heart be trouble. If you are doing your fair share in the relationship, then leave it at that...don't work any harder....you can't make or force your boyfriend to put 100% into the relationship, you can influence him with how you behave. Just act like you don't care, be happy, have your own life outside the relationship, don't talk about the relationship, don't ask where it is going...the most effective way to get a man to wake the hell up is to be NON VERBAL AND MORE ACTION. Distant yourself, but be as sweet as pie because, even when you are upset, that lets them know that you care much more than they do. Besides, I don't think it's a good idea for a woman to be all wrapped up into a man--it's much better that he should be more into you than the other way around because, a woman has more to lose. All you have to do is love a little, care a little and understand a whole lot--that's the way to his heart, that's the way to get him to do more because, verbally expressing your disappointment all the time won't work.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 September 2010): Im feeling the same way with my bf we have been togethf ro over 1 year both very busy... it doesnt matter what u do whether you make him miss you play hard to get get busy... like ppl advice you this will only make u feel better. the fact is things will not change either deal with it and be sad and worrying all the time or break up and find a guy who really loves you and wants to make you happy. I personally could not take wondering what i did or if im not good enough for him and broke up with my bf/exbf 1 week ago it sucks, im sad and crying but to be honest breaking up with him and seeing his reaction that he doesn't care made me feel good about my good judgment that he doesnt love me 100% he might just be with me for convenience...
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A
female
reader, OhGetReal  +, writes (16 September 2010):
 Have you asked him how he feels about you, what he thinks about you, what his intentions are for the relationship, whether or not he sees this as fitting into his plans for his life. Do you know what his short term goals are, his long term goals and do you fit into them?
If you don't know the answers to these questions, you may simply have a man who has no intentions of keeping you around long term, and you have a right to know that after 7 months.
If you do know the answers to these questions, then you can only communicate to him what YOU expect and see how he lives up to that. If he doesn't make an effort to change then you pretty much have your answer, he's just not that into you. He doesn't have time to sit around and think about you, he is completely focused on becoming what kind of man he thinks he should be, and that's not a problem as long as he already has a plan, he is ready to be in a serious relationship and you are just going to have to be on your own much of the time...get some good girlfriends.
If he still feels his life isn't in order, then I am afraid you have a guy who is just passing the time with you.
You know the answers to these questions or can get them from him, we don't know the answer.
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