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male
age
30-35,
*ario90
writes:I'am 20 years old my girlfriend is 8 weeks pregnant,she is vietnamese and im mexican/dominican we both have very different families, so we told her sister about the pregnancy and shes very excited,but now I feel like the sister is forcing us to get married shes already talking about our ring sizes and where we can get our marriage license.Im feeling very pressured but Im not gonna get married yet,but they said if I don't marry her than I can't be part of the baby's life. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 January 2011): I am pregnant(and 17) and I was going though the same thing with our parents, but we sat them down and told them we really don't feel ready to be married, we really want to have this baby and start our lives then we will make that choice
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (13 January 2011):
 Strange. If any - I would expect the opposite. I visited a few times both Mexico and Santo Domingo ( both great places, btw ) and I was under the impression that in both cultures people still prefer to go the traditional way about these things : first, you get married and then you make babies.
Anyway, since the baby is on its way, and it is your and your gf's baby, I think what counts is what you and your gf feel about it. If your gf too is not in a rush to get married and prefers to wait, I think she would be the best for talking to her sister and kindly telling her to back off. Marriage is a serious thing and if two people get married only to please a family member, or because they are being emotionally blackmailed, it's a recipe for disaster.
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 January 2011): This is called buying the cow.
Doesn't sound fun, but her family is probably not bluffing.
You say you were not ready to be a husband, but you were obviously ready to be a father. You are annoyed because you feel her sister is making this an all or nothing choice for you.
Don't waste time getting blaming the situation on her sister. If your girlfriend agrees with her, then you will be making your girlfriend choose between you and her family. Given that she is pregnant, will need support, and her boyfriend is reluctant to marry her, its likely she will choose her family.
Make your decision.
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