A
female
age
30-35,
*inful_thinker89
writes:So its pretty simple I'm mixed black and white. My fiancée is black, lately I have been getting more and more attracted to white men, I'm not racist or anything. My preference has changed and it wouldn't be such a deal, if I didn't feel like I'm losing attraction to him. What's wrong with me?
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female
reader, MsSadie +, writes (5 March 2012):
 There's nothing wrong with you in the least. Truer words were never spoken that we can't help who we are attracted to.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 March 2012): I married a white man got divorced and married a black man and also got divorced from him and now engaged to another black male who is nothing like my ex husbands so for me its not about colour its about the person
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A
male
reader, lakers_lover09 +, writes (4 March 2012):
Isn't it amazing how even in our mid twenties, our minds are still developing and we are still discovering who we are? nothing is wrong with you.you just haven't figured out who you are yet.so your preference is changing right in front of you. u should tell ur fiance that u want to slow down because u still need to establish who you are before making they commitment.if you realize that you love him and attraction comes back, then marry him. but if not, atleast you didn't get married to someone who wasn't right for you
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A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (4 March 2012):
 It seems as if you are taking this to be about color, when perhaps that is not the issue. You have a fiancee where your attraction, for what ever reason, is waning for him, as a man.
You may have also met or seen a guy or guys who you felt were more attractive who just happen to not look visually like your fiancee.
Though you know your fiancee better than these other guys. Once you really get
to know these other guys then you may become extremely disappointedd with them, and find that your fiancee is the 'one'.
But just defining attractive by color will get you into assuming more or less than is true.
There are nice guys of all colors be they negro, caucasian, asian or all manner of other variations in between.
So I find it hard to believe that it is about color, as I think that involves invalid decision making.
Instead I hope your real issue is that your love for your fiancee is waning.
So be honest with him, and explain that for reasons unknown to you, your interest in him has waned.
He no doubt will be devastated and very hurt, but better that he find a girl who values, adores and respects him. And can see a long term secure future with him.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 March 2012): I think it's all about how you get along with people you meet,if you really care about the white guy it doesn't have to be about color, it could be because you met your soul mate or your match, there's nothing wrong with you for liking who you like. Maybe the black guy feels threatenbecause I've seen some of the most beautiful mixed people.I'm a black lady and I'm more attractive to white guys than black guys, white guys tells me all the time how nice I look and always hitting on me, I can't even get a date with a black guy on my job, but it's about ten white guys on my job that would love to take me to dinner, when I go to the mall or grocery shopping black guys don't look my way but a white guy will strike a conversation with me just like that so I wonder what's wrong with me. I'm of color so when I meet the right guy I wouldn't care what color he is as long as we care about each other.Best Wishes
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A
female
reader, mum2two +, writes (4 March 2012):
There is nothing wrong with you i am 100% black and i'm only attracted to white men and married to one, anyway the reason for me is because of looks and personality and a way that they carry them selfs and no im not racist ethier. and i to did have attraction for the black man but for some reason it droped, maybe the sterio type toke over but dont worry its normal best thing to do is sit down with your loved one and discuss your feeling so you to will stay on the same boat.
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A
female
reader, supermum  +, writes (4 March 2012):
 There is nothing wrong with you, you are just changing your mind and realising your fiance is not the right one for you. I suggest you break things off with him and take some time to be sure of what you want.... then start looking again.
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