A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:hi can anyone help i have been in a relationship for 7 weeks, we have had a few arguments, name calling etc, and we both decided we were being defensive and agreed to get on and be happy together.then last week it was my birthday he did not even send me a card, cancelled a trip to see me and three days later did same. i had the odd text but nothing more, i never chased him. then a few days later contacted him saying sorry i not been in touch told him i just wanted to be friends, i did this because i felt rejected and bothered why he had not called me, we got into a text arguement, i told him i was hurt why he did not call, he told me he had been busy with work, that he wanted someone patient and i was selfish. i do not understand where all this came from. we said we should be friends as i was not happy with lack of texts. i am feeling so confused as i liked this guy but he has been very controlling towards me, calling me all sorts of names if he didnt get what he wanted. he wanted to charge me for petrol money for coming to see me, stopped the car breaking hard when i took my belt off early, to teach me a lesson he said.i said i was willing to support him and his work, but just needed a few texts in a few days to say he was thinking about me. he said its too late.i then told him all my life i have been sorting out other guys problems and making everyone else happy, but have forgotten what i want, and i have slso realised what i do not want from a man. i said good luck with your job thanks for the good times . i have heard nothing back, for three days, i have not contacted him either.can anyone understand what he is doing and what should i do, i feel i have lost control and he wants me to feel bad for some reason. what is his game??
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 June 2010): At your age group, i feel you should have all the experience for the managing the Men and relationships. If it is not, you will have these problems for ever. The relationship of only 7 week does not mean any thing. you should not expect much and neither should he. Taking is hypothetical situation with due apology to take this.. Even if you meet an accident tomorrow and die, he will be over by in next 1 week. He will hardly cry. And same is true for you if he become no more. So the point is there is nothing much at present in your relationship. So you should take it lightly. It will take lot more time any relationship to carry some meaning.
A
female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (8 June 2010):
 Seriously!!!... Do you really want someone like that for a partner???
Cruel, calls you names, charges you for petrol, forgets your birthday, says he's busy, controls you, doesn't text you, argues with you, shows off when he doesn't get his way, trys to put you through the windscreen????......
After only 7 weeks????? SERIOUSLY??? YOU WANT THAT????
Sorry but he sounds like a complete W**ker!!!
Why do you want a man like that??? It doesn't make sense. Are you thinking you don't deserve someone better??? NO WAY!!!
I wouldn't waste a second more of my time over someone such as him...he sounds abusive and dangerous.
If your serious about attracting him back, you should lay down on the floor and write the word 'DOORMAT' on your chest.
His game is 'control freak', he's already got your mind twisting in circles...thats how these men operate. They unnerve you, play on your fears to make you vulnerable and then control you by making you feel you have offended them all the time.
Kick his A** to the kerb...seriously you dont need that in your precious life.
AE xxx
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A
female
reader, BunnyTee  +, writes (8 June 2010):
 I think you should just keep doing what you've done: thanks but no, thanks buster. End of lunacy. From what you've described, you should be thanking your lucky stars for having gotten rid of him so easily!
This guy's a genuine flake. Wanting gas money from you for coming to see you? Does he charge for sex, in the vein of servicing you, as well?
Cut this one loose for good. Trying to throw you through a windshield (I think it's called a windscreen over there?) to teach you a lesson? Either this is a giant red flag about to blot out the sun in telling you this is a controlling-abuser type OR he hasn't the sense God gave a box of rocks!
I'd hate to see how he'd "teach you a lesson" if you burned the Sunday roast!
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