A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I met my boyfriend at university and this is the first summer that we're apart.I am always trying to talk to him, asking how he is, initiating the conversations and he never gives me anything back.So I left it and thought I'd let him talk to me when he wants to. Nothing.I've told him on multiple occasions that I need him to talk to me and communicate better seeing as we won't see each other for a while and this is going to be long distance.I've told him that I think he's just ignoring me and forgetting about me because I'm not there, and he agreed and said sorry, but he still hasn't made an effort.I even sent up a little care package to show him that I think of him and wrote a letter containing all the things I'm going through at the moment at home, and he hasn't asked me about any of them. I've suggested seeing him or him coming to visit but every time he can't, but makes no effort to try and suggest something himself.It's just gotten to the point where I think he doesn't even care about me any more.The thing is, he's the kind of person that doesn't think he's doing anything wrong and is completely oblivious to what's happening.He probably thinks everything is fine but I can't go on like this.I don't know what else to do to get through to him. I'm not asking for much, all I want is an indication that he even wants to be in this relationship, that he thinks of me from time to time, that's all.Just for him to ask about me for a change and start the conversation, for him just to remember that I'm still here.What should I do? I feel like I've tried everything. I don't want to end this relationship but I can't go on putting in so much effort to show that I love him and literally getting nothing back.
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female
reader, Soconfused234  +, writes (9 July 2012):
 I totally understand because what ur going through, I am going through. The sad thing about my situation is that its not long distance. Let him go. From what you are saying it really sounds like he doesn't give a damn honey. If that sounds waaay too blunt i am sorry but I have to be honest because I don't want you to get hurt because I see a lot of myself and my situation in you and yours. You seem like you are a great girlfriend and any guy would be blessed to have you. He's not the right one for you and it's time for you to stop trying. Don't lower yourself in such a way that you sound desparate for him. Don't text him anymore. As a matter of fact you should just delete him number and wait for your knight and shining armor come and find you. I know letting him go might be a hard thing. I went through that too. But staying in the position you are is just going to make you feel worthless. You want to find someone who will pay attention to you and treat you like you mean the world to them. You will find that person. Im sure of it. U will feel so much better when u do this. Pray about it as well! I hope this helps you :)
A
female
reader, BondGirl72 +, writes (9 July 2012):
 It sounds to me like you see the relationship as being more serious than he does. When a guy does not communicate with you/contact you, chances are that he does not care. I have only come to that conclusion because I have dealt with this type of guy in the past. You sound like you have a big heart and want to keep the connection with him. He, on the other hand, sounds like he could care less. Please don't put too much of your time, effort, and attention into this guy. SVC hit the nail on the head, don't contact him and even if he does contact you, my advice is not to communicate with him right away. You have done everything you can do...just don't lower yourself to begging him to contact you. I know it is very tempting as I have done it and later regretted it.
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A
female
reader, Angel90 +, writes (9 July 2012):
hi, please call him up and let him know how you feel. If it takes some tears to get the job done do it! Pour ur feelings to him n let hom know! Tell him how much you love him and want him to care. Tell him you feel hes ignoring you. Scold him need be it! Just one convo might change things around trust me! If he is busy give him that space.. Force him to communicate. Call him often but ofcoz dont be a psycho girlfrend. Dont call him back after tt one convo.. Make him miss you. If he doesnt miss you he prolly tinks of you as less than a lover. Leave it, cry and move on, it might take time but really if a guy does not show he loves you, we girls will never know! Men are oblivious to many things by nature. I wish you all the best in this relationship. May your man realise your worth soon enuff. :)
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (9 July 2012):
 If you are the only one making an effort, then it’s not a fair relationship. For some folks “out of sight is out of mind” while for others “absence makes the heart grow fonder” works. In your boyfriend’s case it appears to be the former.
You have told him more than once what you need and he’s not making the effort to be what you have asked him to be. While things may be OK when you are back at school, that does not bode well in my opinion for long term prospects for this relationship as it appears to me that you are more a relationship of convenience rather than love.
IF you have told him what you need and he’s agreed and said he’s sorry but done NOTHING to fix it and is not making an effort to see you, sadly I don’t think there is much hope for this relationship.
Stop contacting him and wait till he contacts you. IT will be torture it may take several weeks and by then you may have your head and wits about you an be able to tell him he’s not giving you what you need and end the relationship.
Best of luck OP.
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