A
male
age
30-35,
*west18
writes:Well I'm a young father 17 years old (please don't judge) recently my baby's mom and I had a very bad break up. Things were said on both sides that shouldn't have been, but now she is keeping my child away from me. I was not allowed on the Birth Certificate by her and her parents, and now I have I have no rights and no way to see the baby unless I take them to court because for some reason they will not let me have partial custody without a fight. Anyways when she was pregnant well before we were even sure she was pregnant the rumor mill started. I heard from everywhere that the baby was not mine( and people were telling me she was pregnant before I knew she was pregnant and before she was showing) and that she had hooked up with her ex. I know she and her ex had contact around the time she would have gotten pregnant because I saw Facebook messages between them. So for 9 months I heard the baby wasn't mine. She claims I'm the father, but is not legally recognizing me as the father so maybe she is hiding something. My question is and yes I have a job and my parents are willing to help me out with a lawyer, and the baby is 6 months old an i have gotten somewhat attached. I say somewhat because I wasn't able to see her that much and didn't have a chance to get really attached. Should I take them to court over this and see my daughter if she's mine, or just walk away like they want me to? I'll have to obviously get a DNA test first, but I mean should I just walk away (i know that sounds bad) the mom recently told me that if I take them to court she's going to make the baby hate me by telling her lies about me as she gets older. Just thought I'd add that too. But please give me advice , and don't be rude please and thank you.
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (10 July 2012):
 I say go to court and have a DNA test done.
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (9 July 2012):
Go to court. That will settle this one way or another.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 July 2012): "Should I take them to court over this and see my daughter if she's mine, or just walk away like they want me to? I'll have to obviously get a DNA test first, but I mean should I just walk away (i know that sounds bad) the mom recently told me that if I take them to court she's going to make the baby hate me by telling her lies about me as she gets older."If the child is yours, then DO NOT abandon your child and leave her to be raised by a selfish immature harridan who is willing to use her kid as a weapon against her father in order to pursue a personal vendetta against you. Baby mama has no legal right to deny you your paternal rights or to deny your daughter her right to have a relationship with her father. Don't let her get away with it, if I was in your position then I would be exploring every legal remedy possible to protect my paternal rights and be actively involved in my daughter's life.So sorry you had to learn such a tough lesson at such a young age, one that will haunt you for the rest of your life because if the child is yours then you are now tied to your viperous ex for the duration. Hopefully at some point she will grow up and come to her senses and start behaving like a responsible mother but unfortunately I don't think that's likely to happen any time soon, if at all.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (9 July 2012):
 Thinking of the long term... if you want to be a part of her life forever and she's yours, then by all means with your parents support and help (after all it's Their grandchild) I would get the testing done and get court ordered paternity and then you have child support and visitation.
I would also have your parents contact her parents (I assume she's under age as well) to let them know you are going to do this so that if there is a way to avoid court costs for all involved that would be a good thing.
Be prepared that based on what you have said, the child is NOT yours biologically... and then you can walk away (and if that's the case I'm sorry because clearly you already care about this child)
I hope it all works out.
Court ordered paternity and proof would then force the mother to let you have visitation... they may go for the "he's not fit to see the baby" route, in which case your mom and dad and the lawyer can help fight for your proper reasonable visitation (which if the mother denies you can get her for contempt of court once you have the court order... )
NOTE that paying child support for your child is mandatory even if the mother does not comply with the visitation schedule.
She can say all she wants to the child as she gets older but as long as the child has an ongoing relationship with you she will eventually learn the truth and it will in the long run turn her against her mother who sounds like a spoiled brat.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (9 July 2012):
 Take it to court. Get your custody rights. And get your name on that birth certificate. Get the child tested to see if it is yours. Do it all. This is your child (I think it is yours), and THE MOST important person in your life. Make sure you fight for your child. Don't be a father that just gave up on the most important thing.
Oh, and what gender is it? You write "the baby", and not saying if it is a boy or girl. This way of formulating yourself makes you seem very detached. Don't get detached. That child is going to spend his/her life wondering who you are. Make sure they get to know you and have you in their life.
Go to court.
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