A
female
age
30-35,
*aybaybay_x
writes:My ex and I saw eachother for the first time after 6 months of not speaking at a house party around 2 weeks ago. I was extremely drunkHe was telling me how much he missed me and didn’t leave my side the whole night. We even went home together. We fooled around and he did try to have sex with me (we hadn’t) but I made him stop because I told him I was scared he wasn’t being genuine.That morning we spoke properly and he was saying he didn’t want it to be a one night thing and he’d like to start over. He just kept on repeating how much he missed me and how devestated he was when I cut him out of his life and apologising. He made me give him my number saying he’s scared I’m gunna run away as I tend to push people away/cut people off. Since this day he’s been really flakey. Barely text me with anything productive... I asked him where we went fromhere and he said he’d like to go with the flow..He went on a solo trip where he text me and called once (I missed the call then we argued because he was telling me to say please when I asked him to call me again and i found it to be quite petty as he was the one that offered) After that day ( 5 days ago) I’ve heard nothing from him...I had enough last night and asked him to call me after talking to a friend who blatently said if you want answers, ask him. ... I was aiming to just see where he was at with me and act accordinglyI’m getting very upset by all of this as I really didn’t mind leaving it at that night. I missed him very much but I was doing fine without him and would have been fine had we ended things there. He was the one who insisted on reestablishing contact and everything really yet I feel like I’m the one waiting and wanting... I feel like I’m being played around with....Should I cut him off again? What should I do?
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female
reader, Youcannotbeserious +, writes (12 June 2018):
 You've already wasted time on this guy. You broke up for a reason. Why are you wishing to revisit old hurts? Are there not enough decent guys out there who will respect you enough not to mess you about?
Watch your alcohol intake when you are out in future so that you don't drink enough to cloud your judgement. Would you have been so keen to go back to his if you had been sober?
A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 June 2018): [EDIT]:
" Especially if they have tried to have sex with you!!! There's your warning in bold letters with sirens going-off!"
" That shows he has no respect for a woman making a choice; he would take advantage of you when you're not able to use your better-judgement."
As N91 said; you broke-up for a reason!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 June 2018): As rule, never believe your ex when they claim they want to try again or make up. Especially if the have tried to have sex with you!!! There's your warning if bold letters with sirens going-off!
He just wants to see if you're still pliable for booty-calls; and it certainly boosts his ego if he knows you haven't gotten over him completely. That leaves him room to manipulate you and lets him know you're vulnerable to head-games. Never trust a guy who tries to have sex with you when you're drunk! Be he your ex or any other guy! That shows he has no respect for woman making a choice, he would take advantage of you when you're not able to use your better judgement. Fortunately; you weren't stupid, just drunk!
No, don't even go there. You wouldn't be writing this post unless there's still some weakness left there for him. If you want to guard your heart; block his number, delete his text messages, go no contact, don't stalk him on social media; and if you cross-paths, give him a cold and distant-greeting; and avoid him like the plague.
Don't get drunk and let men take you home. Ask a sober girlfriend at the party to drive you home, call a female-friend; or family-member, an Uber, Lyft, or a cab. Better yet, watch how much you're drinking when you're not at home where it's safe!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 June 2018): Easy answer...The jerk was looking for sex. Pure and simple.
You're an ex, maybe still lingering feelings, still not in another relationship, drunk at a party, alone. He was trying to take advantage of you. For sex. Only sex. Now he's yanking you around. Cause you didn't give in and won't and he doesn't want to be your bf again.
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A
female
reader, YouWish  +, writes (11 June 2018):
 This guy has a LOT of red flags that make ME nervous:
1. He pushed for sex when you were really drunk.
2. He "Made* you give him your number. He pressured you and wouldn't take no for an answer.
3. Making you "say please" in order to CALL you?? Boyfriends who care for their girlfriends don't need to force submission from them.
4. The silent treatment. This isn't flaky. This is a power trip.
CUT CONTACT! Guys like this tend to get abusive in order to establish dominance and power. He is being emotionally abusive towards you with his "say please", his lack of communication, his pressuring you to get what he wants, and more.
This guy is abusive. CUT CONTACT and block him from your phone and all social media. Before you do, write him an email and explain that you don't want to ever hear from him again, that his emotional abuse is over, and that it's over forever.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (11 June 2018):
 If you put your hand on the stove and get burned, you wouldn't do that again, right?
If you hit your head when entering a low door, you would learn to duck on entering, right?
So IF you date someone and it JUST doesn't work out, then there WAS a good reason for the break up and you shouldn't "try" to date this guy again. HE is still the SAME guy you broke up with 6 months ago, he hasn't matured, or changed so the REASON you two broke up is STILL valid.
Yes, you felt a little lonely and he picked up on that hoping that maybe you two could AT LEAST be FWB's kind of buddies. You didn't want sex even with being drunk (food for you by the by) because even while drunk you weren't sure of his sincerity.
Here is the thing, OP
LOOK at his actions.
1. he went home with you and tried to have sex. That doesn't seem like the actions of someone who is hoping to restart a relationship. It looks like someone who saw that YOU still cared and maybe he could use that for some on/off sex.
2. He talked all this "I don't want it to be a one night thing".... yet he has been nothing but flakey. So his words DO NOT match his actions. What he was saying was what he THOUGHT you wanted to hear so you would sleep with him.
3. He is acting like a prat, calling you and then "demanding" you say "please" for him to call you back, what is he 5? You aren't his child who is learning manners. All that shows is him wanting to have the upper hand. Wanting to have the control. YOU have to BEG for him to call you. IS that really what you want in a relationship?
I say, CUT him off, delete, block his number and everything else and take some time to REALLY get over this guy. I think you thought you were over him but your posts shows you weren't really. If it was that easy for him to "charm" (not that he seems very charming) while drunk to go home with him, you aren't over him.
OP, he sounds immature, and somewhat of a twat. Do you really think you CAN'T do better than this guy?
Chin up, OP Life is too short to waste it on guys like this.
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A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (11 June 2018):
 You broke up for a reason.
Leave it in the past.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (11 June 2018):
 Stop waiting, block his number, from your phone and all social networks, next time you meet him just be distant and polite, don't drink so much that you fall for his crap again, don't go anywhere with him, don't get into any deep and meaningful conversations, he has shown he is a flakey jerk, and really, do you need that sort of person in your life.
Just tick this off as a bad experience that you will learn from.
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