A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:HiI have been with my boyfriend about six months, sometimes his behaviour has been erratic and we split up just before christmas when he told me I was crowding him. He later apologised for this and said it wasn't true, he was just feeling under pressure at the time and struggling. He has been more than a perfect boyfriend up until the last few weeks when he became a bit weird with me, I have done a lot for him in the past and got him out of a lot of scrapes and he began to expect it. I found weird messages from ex's on a social networking site that didn't make a lot of sense etc. I didn't pull him up about all this as I didn't feel I had a solid enough ground to base my opinion of him from. However recently we were meant to go and do something in the town centre together, when I rang him to arrange it he said he couldn't be bothered, so I said that was fine. However when I saw him later on he had a new expensive electronic piece of equipment, he told me he had purchased it on the internet, and it had arrived within a few hours (which I knew wasn't possible). A week later I was decorating his house when innocently looking for a screwdriver I came across the reciept and warranty for the thing, that made it perfectly clear that it wasn't purchased off the internet it had been purchased in the town centre the day we were meant to go. I eventually opened my mouth about it and told him, as it was obvious there was something wrong. He was fine at first but then wouldn't speak to me and became rude and ignorant, when trying to talk to me, again he said it was because he was a private person and since I'd told him I'd gone looking through the house for a screwdriver he wondered what else I'd gone looking through and told me to stop cramping him and leave him be.I have done, I've not attempted to contact him since he told me this. But I feel absolutely miserable and feel like I've been persecuted for doing something terrible when I feel like I haven't really done that much wrong.
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female
reader, thatgothgirl20  +, writes (14 March 2008):
 This is how you can tell that a guy IS doing something wrong. You find out he lied to you, you confront him about it, and he ACTS LIKE YOU ARE THE ONE WHO DID SOMETHING WRONG!!!!!!! He tries to flip the script on you!!!! And then you are so busy defending yourself while being upset that he is treating you this way for no freaking reason(since you've done nothing wrong, or if he's good at this, trying to figure out what exactly it is that you did wrong when you in fact did nothing wrong), that you don't go any further about what he did!!!!!!! Neat little psychological mind game, isn't it??????? I think that you did the right thing, and that he is just an ass!!! Why lie over something so small??? And if he did want space, he should've told you instead of going behind your back and lying to you about things when he was somewhere else instead of with you.
A
female
reader, Gena Bullock +, writes (14 March 2008):
 You need to let him go, dear. He obviously has issues you can't help him with. Don't trouble yourself and go on with your life. There are other fish...find something nice, like a porpoise and not a shark!
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