A
male
age
30-35,
*oheed5
writes:HelloI dated a girl for about 4 months. We fell in love quickly. We always saw each other before our relationship. She's my best friend's sister and is a year and a half older than me. We took each others virginity. We broke up because of some fighting that had taken place and she was not strong enough for it. During the break up I was with several girls (9) sexually, but never intercourse. She dated a guy for a year in which she had sex with him nearly 30 times. We are now back together, and the fact she had sex with someone else bothers me. I know the guy and hate him with a passion for my own reasons. I can't stop thinking about this problem. She says that it never meant anything. It's not nearly as good as ours. She didn't even like it. She wasn't attracted to him and if I was to see them do it, I would not be bothered. But after all that she was still willing to spread her legs for this guy. She said there was no passion. Then what reason was there for doing it. Is she just a nympho? This absolutely disgusts me to the point where I don't want to touch her. We are very serious and speak of our lives together. How can I marry someone and have the thought that my wife has slept with someone else and I haven't? What can I do about this? What should I be thinking? Thank you
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 March 2008): She had inercourse with a single guy for a long time and you messed with some girls but didn't sleep with any of them.So logically, she had a more significant relationship outside of you two than you did. That is a valid reason to be jealous of her and to feel things are unfair. But you can't do anything. Nothing. You can suck it up, stay with her and swallow the pain this brings for the rest of your life. Or you can split with her, sleep with a bunch of other girls, and probably still feel totally unfulfilled by it. And still have lost her. Why didn't you just sleep with several girls while you were split up with her? Lemme guess, you didn't feel "right" about it? Uh, huh. You're screwed now. There is no reward for trying to do the right thing in that situation.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 March 2008): Actually I think your girlfriend is the one who should be thinking twice about marriage.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 March 2008):
This problem will never go away for the rest of your life.
I wish more women would at least try to understand the huge issue this brings. The sex with someone else might not be a big deal to them, but it usually tortures their future partners.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 March 2008): sounds like u feel threatened or bitter that she has had more sexual experience than u.it also doesnt help that that experience came from someone who u have a grudge against but if u cant get past that then u cud b missing out on something really good... so just get over it coz she hasnt done nething wrong and u are definatley in no position to judge ...
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A
female
reader, thatgothgirl20  +, writes (14 March 2008):
 I suggest you let this go or don't marry her. If you are not able to let this go, this WILL affect your married life, and end up making her feel like she did something wrong, when she didn't.
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A
male
reader, Dr Vendetta  +, writes (14 March 2008):
 You're a whore. You are a male whore and a whiney little bitch at that. So pull up your panties there Loretta and stop being so selfish.So. you're.. in Love... yeah, likely story. She has sex with one guy and for some reason, you know the approx number of times they did it - Creepy - ...ONE guy.You.. on the other hand, were with 9 girls... Nine.And wah wah wah i don't care if you didn't play hide the sausage with them. you were with 9. You fricking whore. NINE."We broke up because of some fighting that had taken place and she was not strong enough for it."She was not strong enough for it? Wow. i mean... seriously... Wow. Talk about resentment and talking down about her. WTF kinda love is that?You have issues. Serious serious issues. You're obcesses with her bumping uglies with another guy... GET OVER IT.Any girl you meet in the future is going to have had sex with 1...2..OH JESUS 3??? 3 guys???? RUN FOR THE HILLS LESS WE ALL BECOME NYMPHS!!!The power of Christ compels you to not get married. to stop all this damned obsessing and to realise people have sex. People are allowed to have sex. They don't need your permission.Btw you have no well founded reason to be angry at her ex because he had sex with her. You both broke up because of a fight. She owes you nothing.Now get off your high horse, stop being a jealous moron and try being single for a while because clearly you weren't even ready to get your dick wet to begin with.
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A
female
reader, Gena Bullock +, writes (14 March 2008):
 For starters, you two are too young to be thinking about anything really serious. I mean, what about college and a career? get your priorities in order first, okay? Now, this thing about her saying it meant 'nothing' after doing it with this guy 30 times? Where did you get that info from? Her? Too much detail about something that really wasn't your concern since you two were apart to begin with.Also, it wasn't her fault you dated nine girls and didn't do anything ALL THE WAY...sex is sex, even if it's foreplay. Would you want your wife to be doing what you did and have her tell you it wasn't sex???? THink about that. Gena
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