A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I have been together for several months. We live about 30 miles from each other and used to see each other 2-3 times a week and we would communicate daily through text. Right now I have not seen him in two weeks and only hear from him through text once or twice a day instead of the long conversations we used to have. I know he is very busy with work, school and raising a child but why all of a sudden is he too busy? I'm very hurt and upset by this. I don't want to add to his stress but maybe he's not aware of how it's affecting me. Should I say something or just wait til things calm down for him? Should I break up with him and find someone who has time for me?
View related questions:
text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (30 April 2013):
 My take on it is different. I do not think telling him you feel hurt and ignored is going to bode well for the future of the relationship.
30 miles is nothing... around here that's often half a commute...
you are hearing from him daily but that is not enough for you and yet you are not sure if you want to tell him you need more. So you don't actually trust your position in his life yet. (with good cause it's only been a few months)
I sense you feel his desire for you and the relationship waning and feel that bringing it up will give him power and let him know you feel more for him than he feels for you. I say trust your instincts that they are spot on here.
It's been SEVERAL MONTHS and it was all hot and heavy at the beginning and now it's settling down to what will be the standard for the relationship.
If you need more than what he's got to offer now that the first blush of relationship has worn off, you may find that you are not going to be happy in the long run.
You can go to him and ask him what he feels and where you stand and let him know you need more than he can and is giving you ... but that does not meat it will change... can you live with things the way they are? IF so, I would just go along... he's contacting you daily that's a good thing...
A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 April 2013): You need to communicate and try to find out what seems not to be happening in your relationship. It may be something very simple and easy. You deserve a answer listen and then make a informed decision. Don't be to quick to throw him out onto the curb. Good-luck.
...............................
A
female
reader, AuntyEm  +, writes (29 April 2013):
 I agree, rather than brooding over not knowing...let him know that you would like a bit more contact when you are apart. It's an easy fix and maybe he doesn't reaise things are slipping!
...............................
A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (29 April 2013):
Communicate, that should always be your first option.
...............................
|
