A
male
age
36-40,
*iket389
writes:am i wrong for what i did? i was dating a girl that left her boyfriend for me... all along saying how crazy he was and how much she wished he would leave her alone... at first things were great she was ALL about me we started spending Alot of time together staying with eachother and whatnot.. she was very affectionate and it was a very physical relationship as well... well a couple weeks ago i noticed that she was acting different.. it started with no sex and then with her being stand offish.. I knew something was up but she insisted that it was nothing.. well this past week she saw her ex 3 times once having dinner and being at his place for a bit once at her place and friday night we had plans and she was going to his place to do Laundry and i didn't hear from her for 3 hours.. she acted like it was no big deal.. when i expressed my concern she started with the lets slow things down she thinks its moving too fast and does't want it to be like it was with him.. well saturday night when she bartends i didn't go because i wanted to give her space.. 2am rolls around and i get a text that says do u really want me to come over.. i hadn't asked her to come over.. she text the wrong person.. i Found out she went to his place after work and stayed there.. well when she tried lying about it the next day.. i told her to delete my number and leave me alone because i didn't want to be lead on.. i was very open with her and told her to tell me if anything was wrong.. and by her saying she wanted to slow things down i feel was a "cop-Out" if she wanted to be alone whyd she go to his house.. I havn't heard from her and it hurts it tells me she doesn't care enough to even try to apologize.. i just feel like i may have been too extreme in my actions and i feel bad now i just don't know what to do... im just hurting pretty bad and need help i hope i didn't do the wrong thing..
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 March 2010): It hurts now but it will get easier..well done for having the courage to do the right thing...better now than later when you've invested way too much emotion to deal with things rationally..just ask yourself when she doing the stuff she's doing does she think of you? Don't show her such consideration.
A
female
reader, Hard_decision  +, writes (3 March 2010):
You didnt do anything wrong but discover your girl was messing around on you - get out now, dont worry about her feelings because she obviously doesnt care about yours. By the sounds of it you havent been together too long, dont sweat it, dont take her back..you dont wanna end up like me taking back a cheater only to have it thrown straight back in your face with empty promises of changing and the next thing you know it, you've wasted years of your life you cant get back.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 March 2010): she left a relationship she was in for you.
And I don't want to generalize but a bartender isn't the best type of girl to be dating. You KNOW guys are going to be hitting on her. Mostly because they are drunk.
She's a liar and a cheater. Be grateful this happened before anything too serious happened. And find a girl who has the same morals as you.
I would've gotten out a lot sooner but know how you feel. Trust your gut. It's right 99% of the time.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 March 2010): No, you didn't over-react. It always hurts when it seems like someone chooses another over you, but it's all in who that person is, not you. She obviously has no idea what she wants or who she wants. If you are really looking for a relationship find someone who is a little more sensitive and caring. In a relationship or not, people respect those they care about. She had little to no respect for you judging by her actions. Move on and realize you deserve much better than that. No woman is worth compromising yourself.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (3 March 2010):
No, you've done the right thing by telling her this. Now you know what kind of a girl she is. She lied and cheated. Never bother with her again.
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