A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:should i leave my husband after 23 years? i have been married for 13 years but been with my husband for 23 years in total meeting him aged 15 and he was 24, we have four daughters whos ages run from 20 to 3, the relationship was built on distrust in the beginning with my husband being unfaithful on numourous occasions, he also treated me very badly humiliating me in front of people and very violent although never actually hitting me, since then he hasnt really changed except i give as good as i get when we argue which is nearly always about money or him being really jealous, im not allowed and never have been allowed to go clubbing or out with my friends even though i am completley faithful, i cant even go and stay with my sister for a night or my brother who lives in london because he gets funny and i do everything i can to avoid arguments in the house because of the kids. i have also caught him doing coke, he is a work acholic and very good at being domesticated cooking ironing cleaning, but he makes sure i know when he has done something cause he will throw it in my face later on. i have recentley told him im leaving him and he says im his world and he loves me and has even cried i feel so horrible but im just not happy with him anymore, he dosnt do it for me in the bedroom he is very clumbsy and rough i have told him but he dosnt seem to get it! foreplay is far and little in between tweak tweak rub rub you know the way it goes! i feel like im in limbo i just need the push to get up and go, even my girls want us to split because they cant stand living at home.
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clubbing, foreplay, jealous, living at home, money, violent Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 June 2010): Dear lady,My feeling is that over possessiveness is the only issue that your DH has. So it is good thing as well bad things. Bad things you described. Good thing is that he does not have an affair with any one. He is not going to leave you for any younger girl and he will not leave you alone ( as you your self said). You can see that there are always 2 sides of coin and it depends on what you see. Glass half empty or half full. He has not been physical. Couple fights over finances are quire normal and 100 % of couple do it every week. So try to change in you about few minor things and let him change on few minor things, it will be normal. I know controlling finances si an issue among couples and wives generally want to have more control over the how the money needs to be spent. you can adjsut little bit and it will be normal
A
female
reader, Auntie E  +, writes (12 June 2010):
 You just answered your own question with your statement "Even my girls want up to split because they can't stand living at home." Leave now but be warned this guy is not going to make this easy. He is controlling (you can't go any where and can't do anything, manipulative (cries and throws things up to you), verbally abusive and on top of all that uses cocaine! Why on Earth do you need a push? Take the girls and go to your sister's house or brother in London. Your girls should not be subject to such harsh conditions and you are not demonstrating to them how a woman is to be treated by her husband and the father of her children. Don't be surprised if your 20 year old gets into the same sort of relationship that you have. Be on alert.
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