A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I'm 28 and I just realised that I don't really have any friends anymore. I have lived in my hometown all my life and had loads of great friends there. One best friend in particular, moved 200 miles away and he was like a brother to me. He now lives with 6 crazy housemates and really only contacts me sometimes. i'm begining to feel that its all a bit one sided.Since I moved 20 miles away from home, its become a nightmare. I now don't have one friend in this whole city. i cant even meet anybody for coffee or go shopping with anybody.i have two very close friends but i don't see them very often as i live 20 miles away and they work shifts. one schoolfriend lives 200 miles away and my two other good friends have two young families and again are not in my area.I've started uni as a mature student seven months ago, and although i have people to hang around with in the day, they are 18 and all live in halls and go out partying and i am ten years older and this is not for me. Also there's a bit of a life experience difference. They view me as being older too, i think and i'd like friends my own age. I've joined classes but although i get on well with people there, none of them are good friend material really.I am somebody who appears popular because i'm friendly and outgoing with a lot of people and i'll talk to anybody, and i keep in contact with people online a lot and i'm always here for a listening ear, but if i need to call a friend or just get lunch, there's nobody here that I can call. I do everything on my own and unless I visit my friends at weekends, I would have no social life. Where am I going wrong? Where can i meet people with whom i have things in common? x
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 February 2010): Friend dates! Invite one of the girls or two of the girls at uni or somewhere out for coffee. You said they werent friend material, but you don't know for sure! Maybe they will be great "meeting for coffee"-friends. You could try it out, either way the worst that can happen is you have a boring time over a cup of coffee. And maybe next time around they invite you their older sister or older brother and you get new acquaintances that way. Older male uni students always hang out with young girls so why not the other way around. Not all of them are as dumb as they might appear to you (with all due respect, at 18 most people arent that bright). I mean they might not become your new best friend, but they can be great to go shopping with.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 February 2010): go and meet new people, join clubs, maybe try to get a boyfriend by getting out there more and being more sociable. It works when I lose friends
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (20 February 2010):
You're just not meeting them yet. You're doing all the right things. Start another hobby or something, then you may have more in common with a few other people. You'll get there, it'll just take a bit of time. Don't worry.
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A
female
reader, mystiquek  +, writes (20 February 2010):
 Have you tried joining any clubs? What are your hobbies? Interests? Look for groups/clubs that offer classes like this...OR..try something new! Are there any groups at the college that you could try? Don't give up! Go online in your area, or check out the local sections, keep mingling.
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