| A
male
age
,
anonymous
writes: I am 55, my partner 28...I feel he may be simply taking advantage of my generosity until he has gained what he wants and will then disappear. How can I know? How can I ask him this very difficult question? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Ivyblue  +, writes (24 November 2015):
 stop being so generous and see how if there is a change in attitude?
A
male
reader, Been there Now over it  +, writes (23 November 2015):
No questions...there is no way he will admit to you that he is just hanging around to take advantage of you. You are here because your intuition tells you that he is bleeding you and will disappear when you no longer provide for him. Trust your intuition on this one...it is a lot more truthful than any answer you will get from him.
...............................
A
female
reader, mystiquek +, writes (23 November 2015):
 You really can't ask him because the odds are slim to none that he will tell you the truth. Be honest and ask yourself..do you really think the conversation will go "are you taking advantage of me and my money/generosity?" And he looks you right in the eye and says "yes I am..as long as you let me"...Not gonna happen!!!
So..trust your gut instincts! If you feel something is wrong..the odds are that it is.
I don't want to sound cruel to you please forgive me if it comes out cruel. I am your age, and I have a son 28. If a young man in his late 20's started hanging around me and wanting to have a relationship, I would be VERY suspicious. I won't say that he doesn't care for you, or possibly even love you, but its far more likely that he's wanting to get out of you what he can. Cold hard truth.
The real question you should be asking yourself is this...WHAT are you going to do about it?? People often know when things are wrong, but don't want to deal with things, brush it under the rug, or hope the problem goes away. Are you going to step up to the plate, or wait and see? Only you can answer that.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 November 2015): "How can I know?"You'll know when he has bled you dry and disappeared."How can I ask him this very difficult question?"You can't. He's either going to lie or cry crocodile tears about you not trusting him or both. You have to trust your instincts and act upon them accordingly or else wait until your suspicions are confirmed, by which time it probably will be too late. As a gay guy your age who has observed similar May-December couplings I can tell you that most younger guys who hook up with older guys aren't looking for love or companionship or emotional fulfillment, they're looking to acquire material assets; and most older guys who hook up with younger guys aren't looking for love or companionship or emotional fulfillment, they're looking to stroke their egos by deluding themselves into believing they're still considered good-looking and studly and attractive by twinks young enough to be their sons (or grandsons).I would guess the odds that he is NOT trying to take financial advantage of you by playing to your vanity and insecurities are maybe 1 in 100. As I keep telling friends who have the same weakness, in ten years he'll have a much better chance of ending up with your money than you'll have of ending up with his youth.
...............................
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (23 November 2015):
 Why, do you think that if he just wanted to take advantage of your generosity, he would candidly admit it and say " Of course ! I am with you only to take advantage of you, bleed you dry and then disappear ! "??
I guess the proof is in the pudding- probably the only way you could clearly see what is what, is to STOP being generous ( within normal limits, I am not saying you can't ever buy him a drink ! ) and STOP letting him have what he wants, whatever this is. At least for a good while. If he sticks around regardless of material benefits, then it's all good . If the moment you draw rhe purse strings, he bolts... then your fears would be confirmed, and it surely would be a bitter disappointment, then again, do you really need to be with someone who only likes you because you are EXPLOITABLE ? It this were the case,.. good riddance !
...............................
|
