A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I am trying to figure out why I feel guilty, Makes no since other then I have feelings. I put my X-Boyfriend in jail for choking me,come to find out he had been doing Meth and cheating on top of all the mental abuse. He would tell me that I had problems and something is wrong with me, at the time I woundered if there was something wrong with me. Now that I look back the only thing wrong with me was listening to him tell me that. He was always calling me stupid, whore ect..I'm a good looking woman and its not like I can't get a man. He also has a bad drinking problem. My son kept saying mom he treats you bad. Well when he choked me he body slammed me to the ground. He is in jail now and looking at prison time and they won't let him out. If they did I would really be scared because I am terrified of him and he will hurt me for sure even worse this time. I don't understand why he doesn't feel sorry for what he has done or why it matters to me. He has not once said I am sorry for anything. I can not believe he was on Meth and I was to blind to see and with all his friends coming up to me telling about all the girls he has cheated with just so many stories. Really hurts ones ego to find all this stuff out. Then I feel guilty because he is in jail over me but yet I feel free and that puts me at peace. I have all these mixed feelings. Yes I am very confused of my feelings. Why do I feel guilt that I don't understand how could I love a man that can not take blame for his actions?I am searching myself for answers and can not seem to connect. Why do I feel sorry for him?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 June 2010): It really has helped listening to others opinions. Of course I am in the healing process and to hear others that have gone through the same or standing on the out side looking in, helps me place myself in the state of mind I need to be in.I do know how lucky I am to have gotten out of this night mare alive as others are not so lucky. Can not help but question his actions and never having the answers is mentally hard. I have to except there is no answers and move on. I want to thank you all for taking the time to help me by voicing your opinions and helping me heal.
A
female
reader, angelpie  +, writes (12 June 2010):
i went through this same thing a couple of years ago.
the thing is at the time i felt the same as you. i even helped him out by saying i forgave him at his hearing. the thing is i was in love with him then. ive had time to heal now and im not any longer . i realise how wrong i was to help him. you will realise that yuo did the right thing one day too. in the meantime be strong and stand by your actions .
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A
female
reader, MissKin +, writes (12 June 2010):
 You can't help who you love, bt you can stop urself from being with them. He's in prison. He deserves to be there. Move on with your life.
You feel guilty because something bad has happened to somebody you have feelings for. This is always the case with most people. Someone you love does something bad and gets what they deserve, but they're still suffering, and you still want to make it better and it's natural in a way to feel sorry for him. The same way you'd feel sorry for anybody else who ended up in a bad situation (whether they deserve it or not).
However, just keep reminding urself that he deserves it, that he's in there because of HIM and NOT because of you. Don't ever say 'he's in prison because of me' because that isn't true. You're not the one who should feel guilty, so don't. Stop thinking about it and start moving forward.
:D big smiles for the future!
best of luck xx
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