A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:im really unhappy. which is probably a common thing for a teenage girl to say but i dont know. i feel like im being oversensitive but i can't help feeling like a complete loser and a doormat. i have been a nice friendly girl all my life. my friends see me as the person that they turn to, but thats it. my best friend before was a complete bitch. she tried to get with my boyfriend the whole time and the only person she cares about is herself. she has done this to many friends, but just because she is pretty and likes to go clubbing, all my friends idolize her. ive been pretending to be nice to everyone, putting a fake smile on my face because i have no right to tell them not to be friends with her. but recently now, ive just decided to avoid them. i keep on thinking, they knew all the horrible things she did to me, but when it came down to it they went to comfort her during our falling out for superficial reasons while i cried to myself alone. they only come back to me when they're having problems with her (which is often) or when they need my help. im so sick of it. i feel that everyone just sees me as a shy and boring person. im never invited to parties, when all my other friends are. because of my strict parents im also not allowed as often as they are. i know this may seem like such a juvenile issue, and before i would brush it off but now i feel like its all building up inside of me. im so angry at everyone because they keep on using me, but im also angry at myself because im a nice person and i cant turn my 'friends' away.i feel like if i dont stick it out with my group of friends now i will really have, no one. i have a boyfriend and maybe two good friends i can actually count on, but they are also considered 'popular' and im just the one that everyone else ignores. it makes me feel ugly and i feel so unhappy because it seems like all that matters to people now are superficial things like good looks and popularity. i never gave a shit about it before, but now i look around me i find myself feeling jealous, inferior, insecure and unhappy. i cant wait to get out of this school. please help me.
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best friend, clubbing, insecure, jealous, shy Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 June 2009): Hi there!Come on, you can write and express yourself so you're not that boring. How about standing up for yourself. If someone you look up to doesn't invite you ask them why.If you don't feel good stop being the great pretender.Tell the people that are important to you how you feel.You're young. Start meeting better people to befriend.It's a big world out there. Ask you parents how to help with this. Tell them how you feel about the predicament you outlined or just show it to them. They care about you and restrict you somewhat but it's probably only because they want the best for you.
A
female
reader, love-struckxo  +, writes (14 June 2009):
 I know it's hard, my friend. I completely understand the depth of your situation, and how heart wrenching it must feel to be a 'door mat' and a cushion when everyone else needs comfort, but then you don't get anything in return.
It seems as if, your friendships with most of these people, are a one way street. They take and take and take and take, but when you need help nobody is around.
I know it's difficult, but most teenagers go through this kind of garbage, and yes it sucks, but it's life.
You are not the only one out there that feels this way, though it probably seems like it.
My best advice for you is find the closest curb and dump all of these 'good-for-nothing' friends off at it! Try to be strong, and remind yourself you are BETTER then them.
At the end of the day, what do you truly need them for? A social circle? social status? I know that is important, but so is your happiness. You WILL find new friends.
Look for support through your REAL friends, your boyfriend, family, conselour, whatever you need!!
You need to break through your shell, and tell people how you really feel. Be brave, and people WILL respect you.
I know it's hard to believe but at the end of the day, we ALL only have a couple TRUE friends, and the faster you realize to leave the other ones in the dust and get on with your live, the faster you will be much happier!!
I promise you!!
Take care
xx
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