A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'll try and keep this short!Basically i have known 'R' for over 5 years now, as a friend.We had kissed at a party years ago, which was no big deal. We have always got on very well, and meet up every once in a while to catch up. Anyway, i had been in a 4 year relationship up until January this year. My ex was always very jealous of the friendship myself and R shared as we could happily chat for hours on end when both sets of friends were on a night out. My ex confronted me on several occasions and asked if i was up to anything or if i felt more for R than i should. I denied it, as i didn't have feelings for him, i loved my bf at the time.Now i've been on my own for a few months, R has been there for me alot. He knows mostly everything about me, we can chat openly about absolutely anything. A few weeks ago, we were texting as usual, and things got a bit more than our usual flirting, the conversation soon turned to something ruder, and i was a bit suprised, we do share the same 'cheeky/dirty' sense of humor, but now, i could tell he wasn't just messing around.He basically 'offerd his services' in the sexual sense as we both don't have anything going on. It made me question if i did actually fancy him and i'd just been denying it for the sake of my r/ship.Anyway i had a good think about whether i wanted to 'cross the line'. I ended up chickening out the night before.However... Since then, he has been over to my house and he gave me oral sex, and is now wanting to carry this on, as i suppose a friends with benefits situation. My question is, should i feel bad about it, as i denied all the rumors to my ex aswell as my friends?
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male
reader, jezman +, writes (20 May 2008):
 i dont think you should feel bad about it. you've broken up with your ex and your open for a relationship. you weren't feeling for 'R' until recently because you're commited to your relationships and you just admited that you wern't conscious of your liking to 'R' until after you broke up with your ex.you never lied to anybody so you have nothing to worry about and nothing is stopping you from having a great relationship with 'R' seeing as you're both very comfortable with each other. go for it because you have nothing to worry about :)good luck
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 May 2008): No. You shouldn't feel bad about it.You didn't have any feelings for him at the time so you would have been lying if you said that you had.Males and females can get along well as friends for many years the way you did with out anything developing. It sounds like your ex was insecure and paranoid. Something developed between you two long after your relationship had ended so there is no reason why you should feel bad. You were faithful to your boyfriend and you did not lie to him. You loved him at that time and had no feelings for "R". If you feel comfortable going where ever it is that "R" intends to go, whether that be friends with benefits or a relatioship then take advantage of it and enjoy yourself.
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