A
male
age
36-40,
*aogwan
writes:hey, just wanted to know im 20 years old and have just got my 1st gf, my girfriends has 2 other guys 1 for 2months n one for 2wks both cheated on her,the 2wk realationship wos more of a physical relationship which bothered me slightly, shes also had a fling and she has kissed a couple of random guys in clubs,i have only ever kissed one girl properly before i got with my gf, we've been together for 3 months now and i feel comfortable around her and she feels the same i am always laughin and smiling around her, shes been the most physical with me and i broke her in by fingering her, which is obivously meant to be a big thing for a girl right?? by the way i wos the first guy she let down below by finger her. i jus wanted to know as she has kissed more guys and had more experience.I seem to feel quite inadequate and insecure and jealous, because i feel i have missed out in my younger days, i have this bad feeling of regret within myself i really hate this feeling and i just want to think about the present and future and i want to forget about her past how do i do this????? and why has it effected me soo much??? help me someone plz...xxxxp.s she has sed tld me that she has never felt like this for someone before, and she ws sayin she has given me her heart? she is a virgin
View related questions:
fingering, her past, insecure, jealous Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 March 2007): She is with you now and you are happy, so what is the problem. We all have a past, some of us worse or better than others., Please do not let this spoil all you have together. Besides you are only 20! who is to say that she is the one that you will be with forever?! Stop whittling and enjoy.
Take care
xx
A
female
reader, dragonette  +, writes (15 March 2007):
 I understand how you feel a bit. I had similar thoughts because my boyfriend was more experienced than I was. But then I thought that if you know another person's body and mind well it's probably worth more in experience than having 10 short, shallow sexual relationships with other people. Because when you know somebody really well you trust them and let go in a different way. Besides, making out with someone you love is so much better than being with any person just for experimenting.
What you have now seems to be great. Be happy you found a girl who makes you comfortable, that you can laugh with, and appreciate what you have now instead of feeling jealous and insecure.
...............................
A
male
reader, goodbutnotgifted  +, writes (15 March 2007):
 Your head is messing this thing up for you man, Her previous relationships went down in flames, your here now, if you roll all that negative stuff around in your head youll drive her off, just try to be cool she's with YOU now. even if she does leave its her call so enjoy the time you have and be her man. I had the same problem when I got married about the wifes ex's, I am serious its nothing, but it will be the end of the relationship if it doesnt stop, just relax. Besides to tell you the truth, You will be happy she has some failed relationships in her past to remember what there is out there beside you, who obviously wish the best for her. But this isnt the way to say it. good luck
...............................
A
female
reader, TygersDream  +, writes (15 March 2007):
 THe past is the past, so they say, and since she is still a virgin then you have to accept that her past flings and kissing sessions were a part of growing up where you experiment with things and people. But since she's still a virgin and hasn't been fingered until you, she's been a moderate to shy experimenter.
It's nothing to be worried, jealous or insecure about. And what is it that you missed out on your younger days? just a few more girls to kiss? You have to accept that you weren't at the right place (emotionally or physically) at the time to WANT to experiment or kiss other girls. THere's nothing wrong with that. If the urge didn't hit you, or if the girl wasn't enough to make you GO for it then there's nothing to regret. You don't find yourself thinking about your past crushes do you? If you can't remember what made your past crushes so irresistible, then there's nothing to regret from the past, right?
Maybe you're also exaggerating on how much experience she's had - the most she went was 2nd base, right? I don't want to sound callous or condescending, but that's not very much experience so you don't have to beat yourself over the head for not having as much or more.
IT's not a competition, and the more important thing IS your relationship with her so far is going very well. SHe trusts you, she's giving you her heart. What more can a person ask for?
You have to make peace with your past as well as hers. Admit that you feel jealous, but then accept that you can't change the past. Appreciate the people you are today. Having a serious relationship is more precious than any number of flings or random kisses you've had before. People usually grow from their relationships, and you both are growing with each other. I think that's very special.
...............................
|
