A
male
age
30-35,
*ron
writes:I am a hard working person in a loveless void, I would love to have advice on how to find a girlfriend, but it just does not happen. I see people every day hanging out with their lovers and it makes me so sad, because I know I probably will never meet their goal of having a lover. I have been single my entire life and never gone to one dance, never gone to a party or anything. I don't want any of that cheesy advice that: "Love will find you." Because I know that does not work. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Girly123  +, writes (18 June 2009):
I know it is hard to find love. But you are 16-17? you are very young. I will tell you that highschool relationships are the biggest waste of time. (No offense to anyone's who has worked one out). Honestly, i know it's hard to see now, but come time for university and after HS graduation, you will look back on these days and you wil think,what the hell was i thinking even TRYING to start or want anything.
There is so much more outside of highschool. I learned that the hard way. I tried so hard in highschool, really, honestly it's sad. And I came out with nothing, and t brought down my self esteem and it brought my confidence level way down. But I came to university and there are so many people who are just like you.
High School relationships are for people who are good at playing sports and girls with big boobs. That is what high school relationsips are about. It's about exploring, and trust me, there is a lot of time to do that later.
In the real world, relationships are about meeting someone compatible for you who you love to hang out with, not relying on seeing them in the school hallways. It is real corny, but you can't look for it.-- Well, no i take that back, You CAN look for it, but it's best not to because the love that pops up out of nowhere is the best kind! Be patient. you have plenty of time!
Speaking from a little experience, HS years are nothing. I was single most of my days but now it has all changed.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2009): Hey man,
I have to agree with you that those stupid advices like "love will find you" is completly false in reality. No girl will "pick you up". You gotta do it yourself- as a man should do.
I don't frankly belive that you want a girlfriend do be honest. Your probably writing this to seek emphaty of others and there by validating yourself. There's alot of great stuff out there on how to meet and have relationships with women out there-so no excuses.
There's tons of guys that are in the same position as you are. Listen, I was in the same position as you before-feeling bad about myself of why not a girl can fill my "void". It's very common to feel this way.
What I later realised was that I had alot of insecurites and things that was lacking for me- was painfully shy, Didn't have alot of friends etc. So I wanted the girl to boost my self-estem and fill the void that I had created for myself.
I went around for a long time feeling bad about myself, and not "getting" women was not exactly helping me..... until something great happend. My dad (who is a careing father) decided to as a joke buy me a book called The Game,to sort of make fun of the situation I was in.
This book changed me. There were guys just like you and I that learn how to become great with women. I later on went to study alot on this topic. Then later I find this company called Real social dynamics. And the rest is history as the say:),
Im currently able to meet women and have relationships with ease. Right now i'm deciding between seven girls which one I want to be in a relathionship with.
Reading you question was like something that I can greatly identify with and there-by I really want to help you. My recommendation for you is to look up Real social dynamics and get just one program they have. It's mindblowing what you will learn.
I wish you great luck and later post your succes storys on this thread.
Cheers,
PlayboyKing
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A
male
reader, PD  +, writes (18 June 2009):
Hey Tron, first of all, you're young. I was likewise "loveless" when I was your age. But what is important now is to "build your assets". Love will be attracted to these. Love assets include the following:
1) Be financially responsible -- You may not earn a lot now, but how you spend and save is a big deal to you future financial stability.
2) Be emotionally stable -- Learn how to take setbacks (include a heartbroken), how to laugh at yourself, how to so call "take thing easy".
3) Acquire relationship skills -- Do not limit to just boy-girl relationship. Learn public relations, mix with people young and old, those in school and in business.
4) Learn to learn -- There are much knowledge over the web. But not all are usable and/or practical. Can you filter out the filth and use only the good? It's not easy and it comes with maturity.
So much I can say today. Don't worry. You'll find a girl someday. More importantly, a good girl that complements you a lifetime rather than one who will divorce you after marriage.
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A
female
reader, hijacked_dignity +, writes (18 June 2009):
 Maybe that's why you haven't found 'love'. It's because you don't go out and socialize? You need to go to a dance or a party or something to meet new people. How are you going to find someone if you are constantly in the same places at the same times? You can't. It's impossible for anyone. Before I would start worrying about finding someone, I would start working on being happy with yourself. Only then will you be satisfied with life so much that you won't care if you are single or not. Once that happens, your confidence will draw people to you. It's an odd system, but it works. And love does find you, it does work. How can you even think it doesn't only after a short time of being on the dating scene (judging by your age)? And sorry to tell you this, but most people who are already in a relationship are settling. Don't ever settle. Just go out and have fun, and if love finds its way in your life then, all the better!
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A
female
reader, laura585 +, writes (18 June 2009):
First of all, don't say "never" You are young and have your whole life ahead of you to find someone. I was shy in highschool and never had any boyfriends. I thought I would never find someone interested in me! But I did, they come and go. Finding "the one" is a task that will take time, and energy. Enjoy your life, don't dwell on the fact that your single. I haven't found anyone who blows me away yet but I still have hope, and so should do.
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