A
male
age
,
*959madman
writes:Despite what you will soon read, I'm a LOVE novice. I was married for 19 years and it ended in divorce after she discovered body building and I didn't want to become a body builder myself. I remarried after 20 months and have been married now for almost 10 years. While we were dating she gave me lots of different sex activities, but now she give me oral sex about 8 times a year. When she is mad at me, she yells at me as though I'm 4 years old. She is increasingly more impatient. She assumes the right to make major decisions of the household - if we agree that I'll buy a new truck, she'll tell me that I don't need a 4 wheel drive truck. I fear that I married too quickly and possibly for the sake of BEING married. We each have two children. Her children have never looked at me as more than a distance uncle. Am I wasting my time?
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male
reader, 1959madman +, writes (27 January 2009):
1959madman is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi folks and let me clarify some things. I first married when I was 19 to a girl I'd dated for 3 years. I stayed in that marriage for 19 years. She became extremely interested in fitness and angry (not disappointed - ANGRY) that I wouldn't join in with her. I married my second wife after almost 2 years of dating, and almost two years after my first divorce. She knew that my first wife HATED sex, and she gave me incredible sex - any time and any where. Now she uses excuses like "sex in the car is too risky", but it wasn't too risky when we were dating. She hates to be wrong, and hates being corrected even more. I enjoy our good times together, but when she is pissed, I feel like I've had my balls cut off. I sold my soul to please my first wife, and now feel like I'm doing it again to please my second wife. I am virtually always the one to compromise on any situation. I can't help feeling like I'm being selfish, but as I approach 50, I feel like my entire life has been one of compromise to please others. My second wife has yet to compromise on anything, from where we vacation to where we go to church. She was publically critical (and not quietly) of me recently on vacation because my foot was over the white line while standing on a bus (that's a law, don't you know!). There are times when we are of the same mind, thinking the most obscure things at the same time, but when in a stressful situation and a person reacts per their norm, she treats me with no respect at all. I don't want to waste another 10 years to see if she'll change, because people rarely change their core personality.
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (26 January 2009):
 It's interesting that you don't mention how you feel about your wife...do you love her? Did you ever love her? Have you told her how you are feeling about your relationship? It's hard to say if you are wasting your time, do you want to work on your marriage?
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A
female
reader, carriebaby  +, writes (26 January 2009):
 You have to ask yourself do you really love this woman?? sounds to me like your making excuses to end things..
sex does die down after you are married for a long time and have kids but why dont you talk to her about that? she maybe feels the same as you do but also afraid to talk to you about it.
Do you like being married to this woman? i get the feeling you do want to break up with her but its a huge decision. In time you could realise it was a big mistake!!!
Best thing you can do now is to arrange for you to to go to dinner or something and have a really good chat. Tell her your sick of her telling you what to do all the time etc and see what the outcome is.
Good luck
let me no how u get on
x
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