A
female
age
30-35,
*pendy
writes:Why does this ALWAYS happens to me? what is wrong with me:(?i really dont know what is wrong with me but every time i fall for a guy tends to leave me:(it always starts off so great, so sweet then he'd get distant and leave.am not a horrible person, my friends think am a sweet girl, not ugly, i workout, keep in shape, really loving, caring and i do anything for my boyfriend. i'm not easy and i think maybe am too nice/sweet for my own good.so why does this keep happening to me? am starting to think is me. and just the idea of meeting someone new and starting afresh just scares cos i know the same thing will happen with the next guy. kind of vicous cycle really..am really sick of crying:(am 22thanks..x Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, shabby-chic +, writes (14 April 2011):
 Firstly, have you ever considered that maybe it's not you, but the type of men you go for are unstable and not the right ones. So do address that negative perception that there is something wrong with you because that in itself is sufficient to trigger that vicious circle. I would advise that you take some time out from relationships and focus on yourself. During this time you could consider goals that you have in mind and seek to achiee them. This way you develop a greater sense of self worth so that when you do get into a relationship, you recognise that you he is lucky to be with you. That way you are less reliant and vulnerable which is an attractive trait. Also this fear you have is what materialises and keeps that circle ongoing. So you should eliminate that, when you address confidence issues its all part of the process.So overall I recommend getting some 'you ' time. Take a breather, focus you're energy on yourself, and when you do meet someone, it will be with a new sense of self. Hope it works out well.
A
male
reader, Jmtmj  +, writes (14 April 2011):
 Would you say that maybe you get clingy or needy? I only ask because getting distant can be a cue to back up a bit and not contact as much...
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