A
male
age
26-29,
*DANDBMFOREVER
writes:can anyone help me with my problem. i'm 14 and i really like this girl and we're really good friends. she knows i like her a lot and knows i got her a valentines rose but she said she won't go out with me because she likes this other guy a lot. she has said though that she thinks this other guy doesn't like her and she has to choose between him or her friends. what should i do because i really like her and the only reason she won't go out with me is because of this other guy?
View related questions:
crush Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Capri2  +, writes (15 February 2011):
Don't play the guy friend. That will end up hurting you, chances are she will keep trying to get that guy. Eventually, even if he doesn't like her for a proper girlfriend, he'll use her just for sex. One way or another, she will end up telling you about this. And you will be hurt, for nothing.
A
male
reader, Odds  +, writes (15 February 2011):
 OK, it was very sweet of you to get her a rose.
However, I have found that gifts will never, ever win you a girl. Gifts should be a reward for a good girlfriend, not a bribe to win over a new girl. So don't buy a girl things (except maybe coffee or lunch) until she's already been dating you a while.
Now, the anon's advice below to become her friend, then help her get the new guy? Spectacularly bad. Do not do that.
As for your question, "...the only reason she won't go out with me is because of this other guy?"
No, the other guy has nothing to do with why she doesn't like you. Competition for a girl's interest doesn't work quite that way. If anything, the more disinterested he is, the more she'll like him.
The first thing you have to do if you want this girl is to stop caring if you ever get with her. Accept that she may be a lost cause. Caring too much before you're dating puts a lot of pressure on her, and it means you're not a challenge - which means you're not interesting to her.
You want to get a girl, you have to get her interested in you, then make her work for your attention - and you have to be willing to fail. It does not appear you have done either.
Flirt with her more, take some risks in the things you say, demonstrate confidence and self-mastery. And if she's not interested, move on. She's not *that* special, and you will survive and move on. It's her loss.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2011):
Play the best friend. Get really close to her and let her know it is just cause she is your good friend and you care about her. Give her advise on how to get this guy. Make things become comfortable and easy between the two of you. Soon she will see how easy she has it with you and how helpful you are. Girls want to be comfortable are their guy and if you make it like that she will come to you. If she is stuck on this guy than you can't do much but be there for her. she will be thankful for that. She has to find out for herself that this guy isn't meant for her. Don't pressure her or make her feel like your only there for her cause you want her. So just let her know you care about her and want whats best for her.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2011): Aww giving her a rose was really sweet but i don't think she's interested hun. Maybe in the future she'll forget about this guy or change her mind but right now there isn't much you can do i'm afraid.
If she doesn't decide to be with you there are plenty of other nice girls out there.
...............................
A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (15 February 2011):
 Let him break her heart. You can't make her do anything she doesn't want to. If you've told her how you feel, that's all you can do. Sorry it didn't work out the way you hoped, but congratulations for telling her. That takes a lot of courage.
...............................
|
