A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I've been single all my life and it's really starting to get to me. All of my friends are already married or in long term relationships leaving me as the only single guy in my social circle. I love hanging out with them but it always seems to serve as a reminder of my loneliness. I'd just once like to find someone special to spend my time with. At this point I think it would be worth it even if I knew it wouldn't last. Surely having found someone and losing them isn't worse than never having experienced love at all. Could be wrong there, but something sounds better than nothing to me.I really don't have tons of chances to meet women on a regular basis, however the ones I do meet never really seem too interested in me. I'm also often faced with the "I already have a boyfriend" problem. Is it just my luck that most of the women I find interesting turn out to already be taken?I've tried to take other peoples advice and immerse myself in other parts of my life to keep my mind distracted from thinking about my singleness, but no matter how many hobbies I delve into or friends I hang out with my mind always seems to wander back to that empty space I feel inside. Just the other evening I was hanging out with one of my (already taken) female friends and we had a great time together. A kind of time that I can only dream of having with a special someone. Once again I'm reminded of how lonely I feel.A couple of my friends have attempted to introduce me to some women they know, but I don't think they quite get the concept of introducing me to someone who is: A. not a long distance away (i.e 500 to 1,000 miles), or B. actually single. I have one friend who keeps trying to introduce me to women who are geographically on the other side of the country and another who is trying to introduce me to her best friend who is having problems with her current boyfriend but is not actually single.I've considered looking for some kind of counseling or professional help, but tend to shy away from this idea. If I were to seek any kind of recorded mental health type of help I would be brought down from my security clearance for my job. I'm just looking for some kind of advice here. I don't want my lack of love life to be affecting my job too.I'm running out of ideas here. I've been able to live with my singleness up until now, but these feelings of loneliness are becoming more frequent. Any advice out there?
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female
reader, golddigger99 +, writes (15 January 2011):
 I personally don't think that anything is wrong. Don't try to live up to anyone else's standards by feeling single because everyone else you know is taken. Although often these feelings can't be helped, there is something that you can do to try to change that.
Consider cleaning yourself up a bit. Make sure you're always groomed well and dressed to a 'T'! Get yourself in shape and stay active! The women I know like men who are social and up for a good time, but also sensitive and willing to listen and not just hear. You mentioned something about your job requiring a security clearance. If you are military, don't automatically think that there are no women out there. Usually, military towns are low on single females only because there is such a large percentage of males. If this is the case, consider online dating sites. I always see single females at clubs...and regardless what other people think, women at clubs are not always on the naughty list. Who knows, you might just meet your future wife?! Either way, you're young and have plenty of time ahead of you--good luck!
A
male
reader, that--man +, writes (14 January 2011):
I have a girlfriend right now. We've been going out for a year now. This is my second girlfriend. My first girlfriend I only went out with for 2 weeks! That was just stupid. Looking back I'd rather not have wasted my time. So I don't think it's better at all to have something temporary like that. Your lonely because you're not satisfied with who you are and you want someone to affirm that your way of life is correct. It's not about finding the right person, it's about being the right person.
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A
male
reader, faenon  +, writes (14 January 2011):
 Personally I think allowing friends to hook you up is always a no no even though they do have good intentions. Relax be yourself go out to places when you can and mingle and chat with the ladies when your out eventually you'll find a girl close to where you live just don't push yourself too hard mate theres someone out there for everyone all it takes sometimes is a nudge out the door to get social.
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