A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Can someone explain why my ex boyfriend is behaving like this? he left me 6 weeks ago after a ridiculous row. everything was fine until then although he has done this once before. hes 16 years younger than me, weve lived together 18 months and he gets very depressed. he says he loves me, cried buckets when he left and said that he doesnt want anyone else. i have respected his decision, agreed its for the best and tried to be as supportive as i can. when it ended he wrote i want to die on facebook so i emailed to ask if he was ok and he sent me an angry hateful email telling me he would never speak to me again because he had recieved some bills from his time living here and wouldnt pay so i sold one of his belongings to cover it. twice now i have dropped some of his belongings at his address via friends and i have been no contact for 9 days and today when i dropped his stuff off he wrote i want to die again as his status. ive blocked him on facebook but a friend called to let me know. should i break no contact and email him or is he just attention seeking? i am devastated about the break up, would have done anything to fix things, but i have been doing my best to move on and leave him alone as i thought thats what he wanted. i did send him a very loving email saying goodbye and wishing him the best and explaining i needed no contact to heal as it was clear he had no intention of coming back, even after the nasty message, but he has ignored me ever since. i'm so confused as to why he writes this stuff yet wont deal with me at all. he visited my close friend and told her he was heartbroken about the split but it was for the best because he feels he is not good enough and will make me unhappy. i'm the only woman he has been with in 8 years, his only serious relationship ever i think. is it just a childish guilt trip hes laying on me or is he having some regrets? i dont want to walk away if theres any chance but i also dont want to ruin my recovery if its just going to lead to more blanking of me or angry responses. please can someone advise why he would keep writing these statuses now. he also said he is empty and disheartened. what should i do?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (5 July 2011):
 These statuses are simply attention seeking - he wants to emotionally blackmail you (because he thinks you will be seeing them) and he wants attention and sympathy from friends and family.
He sounds incredibly immature, he must be between 25 and 34 based on your age and even still, he sounds like a petulant teenager!
I dont think there is any chance of getting back together I'm afraid, he is simply trying to make you feel bad with his facebook updates. He was the one to leave you, yet he wants to make you feel guilty and try and blame you for the break up. It is also a show for other people, so that they think he is the one suffering and you are the guilty party. He is being very petty, childish and immature - dont worry yourself about this, it is not worth wasting your time.
Best to keep up with the no contact, just ask your friend not to update you each time he changes his status, you dont need to know what silly stunts he is trying to pull. Try and move on the best you can, and I am sure there will be a far better guy out there for you, he is just a silly little boy who doesnt know how to behave in a relationship. You can do better.
I hope this helps and good luck!
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