A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Im going to make this as short as possible.I was in a LDR for 3 years, he dumped me mid april because he became depressed with his life. (We have met in real and get along amazingly)Since then he is on meds and waiting to see a councillor.Before when he first dumped me he wanted nothing to do with love, relationships, girls etc.Now 3 month later I want him back, I have throughout the 3 months and Ive continued to speak to him, on a daily basis the past week but couldnt talk to him for just over a month because I ended in tears because I love him.Anyway we have skype sex today and that was when he came clean and said he wants me. But thing is he loves me as a friend. He told me hes open to relationships now. But told me he wasnt kidding when he says he no longer wants love.What do I do?? I have no idea what Im doing, Im in love with this guy and I want him back. He wants me but he doesnt love me and doesnt want love. Like what the heck and I doing? How should I react to this?
View related questions:
depressed Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 July 2011): The only way you can react is to respect his decision and begin the process of emotional withdrawal.
Long distance relationships are impractical and unfair to both parties. Unless you have a date set to relocate within a relatively short period of time, what you're doing is placing dibbs on someone. As if they were an object and not a person with wants, needs and ambitions of their own.
And waiting about for someone far away is the last thing anyone, let alone a depressed person needs. The only way he's going to overcome his depression is to start living in the here and now, not for some vague possiblility in the future.
If you don't think you can handle friends only, or at least night right now, then do both of you a favour and keep some distance. Talking to each other frequently and engaging in cuber sex is only going to prolongue suffering.
|
