A
male
age
41-50,
*raviskeller
writes:18 months ago my wife who is a social worker asked me to hire a girl that she was working with at my office. She 21 yrs old and was a recovering a drug addict that was trying to get her life in order. My wife convinced me that this girl was perfect for my company so I hired her. My wife tried for the next few months to introduce "Kayla" to some nice people so that she wouldnt fall back into her old group of friends and start using again. I worked closly with Kayla for the next year and became friends with her, she was young, vert smart and had just made alot of stupid decesions in her life. Once she started using cocaine her family pretty much disowned her and she ended up on the streets and on drugs. On night while working late some how we ended up kissing. This continued for a few days then one night alone at work we ended up having sex with each other. We continued to have an affair for roughly 4 months, I felt so much guilt that I ended things with Kayla and transferred as my assistane to another floor so we wouldnt be working together. A month ago I came clean to my wife and told her everything. She wasn't happy but forgave me. But she cut all ties she had with Kayla. A week ago at 2am I got a phone call from Kayla she had went out a party with some of her "old" friends and they were using drugs , she was drunk and wanted to leave because she was afraid she would relaps and do coke with her friends. I got up , picked her up and took her back to her apartment, I styaed with her for about an hour then left. I told my wife about it the next morning she was furious. I tried to explain that I didnt want to turn my back on Kayla and let her slip back to where she was 18 months ago. Again sunday night Kayla called in tears, she had bought drugs but hadnt taken them yet. When I hung uo the phone I told my wife the situation and she told me not to go and the Kayla wasnt my problem any more. We argued and in the end I left. When I got to her apartment she was literally just getting ready to take it. I called my wife and asked her to coem over and maybe talk to her and try to see if she could help and to see that there was nothing going on between us. but she refused. I spent several hours with Kayla befroe leaving. WhenI came home my wife told me if I every accepted anothe rphone call from Kayla she would leave. How to get my wife to see thatI cant turn my back on Kayla. I dont love her and there is nothign going on between us . but as a friedn I have to make sure she is ok.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2009): So you decided to play salvation army and decided to help yourself to the spoils as well. BOTH you and the drug ho had no respect for your wife she actually tried to help that degenerate in the first place. OPEN YOUR EYES, the druggie is using you, manipulating you and you are so dumb that you cannot see. If she wants to kill herself, let her. You are not a counsellor, you are not her knight in shining armour. In fact she is using you and she is coming between you and your wife. SHE KNOWS THIS therefore she calls you and you run like a puppy dog.
Grow some balls, after all you cheated on your good wife, and you still continue to choose the druggie over your wife. This Kayla, knows that she has you wrapped around her little finger. Have you never heard of tough love. Is she wants to do drugs, let her. You owe her nothing.
Your wife should also make good on her promise and kick your sorry ass to the curb. What did you promise this Kayla for sexual favours – more drugs????? This Kayla is not your friend, friends don’t f*ck friends. They don’t use them. You are just as bad as this misfit and i am trusting that your wife treats you just as bad as you have done her. Your wife had empathy for this girl. She bent over backwards to get her a job (oh, sorry Kayla bent over backwards for you didn’t she) how the hell do you repay your wife- by f*cking the drug addict !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
quit being a whimp and start acting like a real man who takes consequences of his actions. You cannot have the addict and the wife. Becareful the wife will soon wise up and realise you are not worth it. if this FRIEND KAYLA wants to kill herself let her, after all why would anyone care. You have the audacity to EXOECT your wife to be understanding that you want to be there for your lover. You have the audacity to want your wife to turn the other cheek and embrace the whore who said thank you to her, by f*cking the social workers hbs.
Hy Mister, you are welcome to the drug addict. throw everything away for a cheap person. This Kayla will even sell her body for some joint. She is a manipulative witch and you are so blind to see the real person. She knows that you are a weakling an she knows that you will come running to her. In fact she knowingly and deliberately is trying to break up your marriage. The good news is this- YOU ARE LETTING HER. I am trusting that your wife will be fed up soon and leave your sorry ass. Your wife is just too good a person for you. She has morals and she is decent. Too bad the very person she tried to help is making her life miserable. Howz that for a kick in the teeth?
A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2009): How to get my wife to see thatI cant turn my back on Kayla. I dont love her and there is nothign going on between us . but as a friedn I have to make sure she is ok.
were you thinking of your wife as you were having sex with your friend?
If you thought of your wife as highly as you do your crack ho... im sure she would be amazed.... the truth is you do have feelings for this girl... no matter what lie you are telling yourself or your wife. so do your wife a favor... pick the crack head. and let her find someone with common sense.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2009): I feel so sorry for your wife. She tried to help this girl and got totally burned from you and Kayla. I would never give you the opportunity to trust you again as this went on for awhile. My heart goes out to your wife!! I think Kayla is trying to manipulate you. Obviously you have feelings for her or would not be jeopardizing your marriage.
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A
female
reader, hijacked_dignity  +, writes (11 November 2009):
 No, the thing is, you have to turn your back on Kayla. You know why? Innocent charity cases don't involve having sex together. You two crossed the line so much that you should be lucky that your wife didn't leave you the first time. This continuing behavior that you are exhibiting shows your own selfish priorities. If this was just to help Kayla? You wouldn't have slept with her. Period.
So what do you do? Stop being Kayla's call boy and start living like a married man. If your wife slept around with some guy and then told you about it, you wouldn't feel uncomfortable with her continuing to be this guy's friend? Seriously? If his girl really wanted help, she wouldn't have screwed over the people that wanted to help her in the first place, aka your wife. The only reason this girl got this job is through your wife's suggestion, and this is a crappy way to thank her by constantly calling her husband for 'help'. If this girl really wants help, she'll go through treatment and stay away from you.
Keep up the behavior, and you'll lose your wife (hopefully). Unless that's what you want. I don't think that giving up a marriage with a smart woman is worth shacking up with a twenty one year old drug addict. But hey, make your choice.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2009): if you love your wife then id suggest leaving this kayla girl to live her own life from now. Your lucky that your wife forgave you for cheating! dont push her anymore.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (11 November 2009):
I hate to tell you this, but your wife is right. You cheated on her with this woman, and she forgave you. She will not forgive you for this. So it's your choice. Your wife or friend, because that's the choice that you're going to end up with. No matter how much you like Kayla, I would suggest that your cheated wife's feelings must come first, or you will lose her.
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