A
female
age
36-40,
*et
writes:Hi cupid,iv been in a relationship 4 a year now,before i joined this relationship my ex boyfriend had left me for another woman,i then found this man very attractive too so i fell in love with him too and we then get married.five months down the line my husband leaves for studies,then this man appears in my life and starts proposing to me knowing that am already married and i give in,he tells me that he loves me and he wants me to have his baby,i feel a strong feeling whenever am near him or when i happen to see him,but sometimes i feel very indifferent,i feel guilty,after three months my husband comes on vacation,deep in my heart i love them both sameway ofwhich i find it crazy because i know it is impossible.i dont want to hurt anyone of them,so whatever happens i want to protect them both and also i dont want to get hurt either,am confused,im in need of your help please.what do i do?i do not want to ruin my marriage but save it.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, rcn  +, writes (24 August 2010):
 Then you must (1) end it completely with the other guy (2) fess up to your husband, allowing him to make the decision if you two remain married and work on your issues, or if he decides to move on. You must remember, it is absolutely unfair to be married, be with someone else, and remain with your husband as if nothing happened, with him being the "unknowing" victim to you actions. Since you already did what you did, you must allow your husband the choice. That is the ONLY way to handle these guilty feelings, and possibly repair and move on with your marriage. If he decides not to remain married, that would be his choice, and you must allow him the opportunity to make the choice that he best sees.
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