A
female
age
36-40,
*ettyBoup
writes:Hi people! I am curious to hear from people who are/have been in long term relationships with someone who has a vastly different sex drive to you. How have you made it work?I love my guy, but he is much less interested in sex than I am. I understand where he's coming from. He is on blood pressure meds that lower sex drive and he says he's just not that into sex anymore, being 41. He's happy to wait 1 or 2 weeks between sex with me. I on the other hand would love sex every day, or every other day. But as I don't want to make him angry, I do not try to initiate sex anymore and just wait for him to be ready. In the past we've argued because I've been horny and felt rejected, and he's felt under pressure and responsible for my unhappiness, when he has simply not been in the mood.We've been together for 2 years. We love each other very much and want to make this last. We have had great sex in the past. I know sex isn't the most important thing in life, but to me it's important to feel connected to my partner and happy and desirable. So I worry sometimes that this issue will break us up. As if we don't have sex for over a week I feel very unhappy, resentful and worry that i will have to leave him, when I don't want to. These emotions seem uncontrollable. It seems the more horny I get, the more angry I get with him that we don't have sex as often as I'd like. And I know this upsets him too, because he feels this is something he has no control over, he can't help his lack of sex drive right now. But most of the time we're happy and we have a great relationship.I would just like to hear from other people, similar experiences, and how you have worked through this issue? Can someone with a low sex drive change and want sex more over time? How have people coped with their partner having a much lower sex drive than them? I do masturbate btw, but of course it's not the same :)
View related questions:
horny, in the mood, sex drive Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 September 2010): I am 35 year old male. My sex drive goes up and down. It is something that happpen to men who had alot of sex growning up thats all.
A
male
reader, dirtball  +, writes (24 August 2010):
 I feel your pain as I was in a similar situation. I have a very high sex drive, my ex did not. I remember having to wait over a month a few times, and then when we did have sex she just wanted it over asap. It hurt, bad. It felt as if a major part of the connection we should have as a couple was just being ignored.
I tried talking to her about how she was making me feel. I always had to initiate sex, and it made me feel unloved and unwanted. Especially since she was never in the mood. I've gotten used to the fact that most of the women I'm with can't keep up with my sex drive. I'd have it every day if I could, often twice. I usually turn to masturbation and porn, but that isn't the same like you said. Ultimately the relationship ended because neither of us were happy.
In your situation, I see something that may help. Blood pressure issues can often be controlled with diet and exercise. Maybe if he can adjust these behaviors, he'll be able to get off the meds and get some of his sex drive back. While it may not be up to par with yours still, it is likely to be better than it is now.
In order for someone to change, they have to really want to for themselves. If someone really wants to increase their sex drive, I'm sure it is possible, but I have no idea where someone would start. Best of luck.
...............................
|
